Mid-night Serenade


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He gulped a bottle of beer, then suddenly asked, “Do you know when I realized you would be my best fucking biatch friend?”

“I have no idea,” I responded with an amazed look.

“Oh, man, I’ll never forget that mid-night legend. Do you remember my homestay in Vancouver? They had two beautiful daughters. And I introduced you to them. You instantly fell in love with younger one. One mid-night, you came to the homestay and started serenading right under her window with a cappella, since you couldn’t play a guitar. Remember, bitch, you passionately sang A Kiss to Build a Dream ON and finished up bawling, ‘Give me your lips for just a moment!’ It was about 3:00 a.m. The whole house was awakening due to your insane performance, so to speak. Her parents got angry and asked me to do something. I calmly persuaded you to go home for the better. After you reluctantly vanished into a foggy night, her mother was beside herself and scowled at me that she had met many Japanese students, and they were very quiet. On the other hand, you were a downright fruitcake. And she frantically puzzled out your mid-night serenade by exclaiming, ‘How could he possibly sing with such a loud voice at 3:00 a.m.?’ It was apparently incomprehensible to her but not to me. Of course, I understood your passion, so I tried to explain her that you were a very innocent Japanese bird and simply loved her daughter too much. You wanted to show your love toward her by singing. But she didn’t listen to me and said that it was simply outrage – it was the loudest voice that she ever heard at 3:00 a.m. – you were not singing but roaring. Furthermore, she wanted me not to hang around with you anymore if I wanted to stay under her roof. At that precious moment I felt that I had to defend you at any cost, for our everlasting friendship was about to begin; and wherefore, I left the homestay in the following morning, with a full of oomph. That night by listening to your passionate serenade at the window, I’ve realized that you would be my best biatch friend forever, and that we would be inseparable brothers. Jesus, Shogo, I’ll never forget your foolhardy performance, ha-ha-ha….”

“It was a total shame, brother. I can’t remember what made me go through serenading her at such an ungodly hour. I suspect that my love toward her must’ve been exploded anyway. But it was a good memory, you know…. Every single moment in Vancouver period was sacred to me although sometimes I did crazy things. Sometimes I really can’t control my mad impulse, you know, things are just out of control, ha-ha-ha…,” I admitted embarrassingly.

“Fucking Shogo, you’ll never change. I’ve witnessed countless times that you let your impulse for taking a rein to perform raving dances. You’re completely like me; you are my double, ha-ha-ha…. Bitch, allow me to have one more drink. I’ll promise this will be the very last one, Salud!”


She Must’ve Really Loved You


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He guffawed amusingly, “Of course, that crazy cunt. I was so terrified. I thought she would beat us up mercilessly with her scandalous stick. She didn’t allow us to join your party and chased us away by brandishing her notorious stick, ha-ha-ha….”


“Ramon, Miki was head over heels in love with you. She always asked my help in order to get you, you know….”

He drained a bottle of beer, ordered another one, and began revealing, “I knew, bitch, Miki was madly in love with me. But I simply couldn’t allow myself to go out with her, you know…. She was fucking ugly, man. It was humiliating for me to stroll around such a beautiful city, with the ugly cunt like her. I just didn’t want to be disgraced, I suppose. Such a shame might’ve ruined my reputation as a pimp, so to say… I just couldn’t let it happen, ha-ha-ha….”

His remark hit my weak spot – I was bursting out laughing like a hyena. And I said with tears in my eyes, “I completely understand your character though. Do you remember your last day of Vancouver? – We went to the airport together. And before you disappeared into the gate, Miki suddenly emerged out of nowhere. Apparently, she waited in ambush, so that she could have a final chat with you. After you departed, she was sobbing like a forsaken orphan. She must’ve really loved you.”

“She really missed my cock,” he was nodding pensively.

“Did you bang her?” I asked curiously.

“Two days before my farewell to Vancouver, I gave her pity fuck. I was very sorry for her and realized that she had enormous teats. After I boinked her and was about to decamp, she madly rushed toward me, impulsively reached into my fly, swiftly took out my cock, passionately kissed it – almost reverently, as if my cock were a religious icon, ha-ha-ha… Oh yeah, bitch, once upon a time I, Ramon the Pimp Master, gave her the farewell intercourse as a small token, ha-ha-ha….” he was guffawing lightheartedly

What Should I Do to Realize My Destiny?


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He lit his cigarette afresh and carried on, “Shogo, your life has changed a great deal since you came to Mexico. Now you are unshakably on the way to your destiny. You wake up every morning with glorious purpose and are becoming surer of yourself, day by day. You know, Shogo, I want to be like you. I want to wake up each morning with effervescence. The problem is that I hate what I am doing and don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am an eternal businessman. I want to find out what I really want to do from the bottom of my heart like you. I want to change my life. What should I do to realize my destiny?”

I looked at his eyes sympathetically and replied, “My friend, I want to help you, and I’ll do everything for you when you need some help, but not this one. I am afraid to say, I can’t help you. In fact, nobody can help you, for you must realize what you want to do for the rest of your life by yourself. This is your task. Nobody can possibly help you with it, but only you yourself can help because this already exists inside your heart. You haven’t had enough courage to look at it candidly. Gerardo, you’d better start talking to your heart in earnest.”

A Hysterical Performance


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He gulped a glass of beer happily and recalled with a mirthful laugh, “By the way, I miss old time in Vancouver. We had a number of wonderful times. You always had a party at your apartment on a weekend. Remember, bitch, one day I arrived at your apartment with my Osaka cunt, and Miki got angry and kicked us out. She even didn’t let me into the apartment, notwithstanding it was your apartment. She was fucking jealous of my Osaka cunt, ha-ha-ha….”

I lit a cigarette and puffed in the air. “Of course, I remember that crazy night,” I replied reminiscently, “when Miki saw you coming with your Osaka cunt from a window, she threatened me that I couldn’t let you into the apartment unless you ditched her. Miki couldn’t control her jealous and madly stormed out to the parking in order to teach you a lesson. I saw something fierce glinting on her eyes. And then she howled at you and insulted your cunt at her top of her voices by brandishing a stick. I’m still wondering where the hell she fetched the stick anyway. It was magically appeared on her left hand as if it was by design, ha-ha-ha…. It was horrible to witness such a hysterical performance, I must confess.”

Life Is Immense


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I tell you, my fellow Japanese, losing your dignity and life over money is the worst lame excuse to defend yourselves. I know what you are. If you contemplate your hysterical daily activities seriously, you will realize that you sweat for nothing except money. And then you will have no choice, but end up in a mental asylum or commit suicide. Consequently, you keep on continuing the same daily routine blindly, without questioning anything, so that you should not happen to stumble on the truth accidentally. Your cowardly attitudes toward life make me abashed. I tell you, having money without life is nothing. Life is just not earning money; life is more than that. Life is immense and consistently full of enjoyment and surprises.

I tell you, my fellow Japanese, the meaning of life is not working five days a week until you become decrepit, nor keeping on earning money till death, nor pretending to be someone else for the sake of earning money till the dying day. In my humble opinion, the meaning of life is realizing who you truly are, doing every day what your heart desires, and enjoying just being alive. Above all, making friends is the most essential one. Even though I have still been seeking for the meaning of life myself, I ought to force even you to comprehend that I am close to the truth. If you will not start enjoying your life and will not try to figure out who you truly are, you are dangerously wasting your limited time on this delightful earth.

If you still have ears, listen to me, my fellow Japanese, if you still have ounce of pride left, you ought to start examining whether your hectic daily activities produce any joy and whether your attitudes toward life produce any enthusiasms every day. If you do, you will understand what I am trying to say here. I give you a clue of how to start changing your life. Try to find what your inner voice tells you, try to find what you want to do for the rest of your life, and try to believe in your unique personality. Enjoying your life every day is the starting point for you. If you do not know how to enjoy life, just halt your meaningless daily activities and take a vacation to visit Mexico. Mighty sunshine will welcome you, and you will find a peace at your heart. Mexicans are experts at enjoying life since it is in their blood. In addition, they are willing to teach you how to enjoy life. Do not be shy, just come to Mexico to learn how to enjoy life from them, my fellow Japanese.