As If I Were a Native Mexican Brother

Today it is a Fifth of April, and I am walking on streets of Condesa in full sunshine. Today walking on my way to Starbucks in the sun, tremendous joy is shooting through my whole being, for I am aware that I am going to complete writing my first book soon. “No more job! I’ll never work with mean Japanese bastards! That kind of meaningless life is finished in me!” I am exuberantly shouting at the top of my lungs.

As I enter Starbucks, everyone is greeting me and offering handshakes, as if I were a native Mexican brother. I am grabbing my coffee and about to look for a table; someone calls to me to join his table – it is Majid.

Majid is Malaysian and a yoga instructor. I met him two months ago at the same Starbucks. He asked me what I was doing in Mexico and told him that I have been writing a book. And to my great surprise, he told me that he is a writer and has been writing books, too. He quit his job as a pilot two years ago and decided to start doing what he truly wants to do for the rest of his life. He has been in Mexico for eleven months already. He has been writing three books at the same time, but none of them are completed. Now instead of writing his books, he always posts articles on his blog.

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Be Aware of My Immortal Courage!

As we came back to Tokorozawa Station, Jorgito divulged, “Amigo, believe me, I’ve never been as drunken as the last night in my entire life. Shogo, stop laughing, I’m telling you the truth. Ask Gerardo, who will confirm you anyway. What I want to say is that I’ve been a shit sacred of being a slave again, so I needed to forget everything. I promise I’ll never drink in the future as last night, and it was the very last time you’d witness my debauchery, ha-ha-ha…. Anyway, what a wonderful time I had, notwithstanding I was continuously vomiting like a riotous volcano. Thanks you very much, amigo, I’ve loved this vacation and enjoyed every single moment to the fullest. This is a real life, you know; going to a stupid office five days a week isn’t a life I want! It’s so stupid, you know, it’s so stupid indeed, why do I have to go back to Mexico to be a slave again? Can’t comprehend it! Oh my God, it’s so cold here like China. Hurry up, man, I’m fucking freezing. Shogo, you beheld my courage last night, so now you know how dangerous my courage is. You have to come to Mexico soon, amigo, so that I can show you my courage again, ha-ha-ha…. Be aware of my immortal courage!”

Danced to the Moon

Jorgito danced to the moon and drunk too much. He was constantly vomiting on the way to home. He kissed several vaginas, including an ugly Japanese vagina, but he could not remember who he made out with. We were too exhausted and fell asleep on the way to home. While we were riding on a train, suddenly, Jorgito was hitting my right shoulder. When I woke up and realized what just happened, it was too late. Jorgito had jumped off the train already. Gerardo and I were worried about him and reached to the conclusion: he did not know how to get to my house; we had better go back to the previous station to pick him up. It was very early morning and only a few trains were working at such an ungodly hour. Thereupon, we had no choice; we hailed a cab and drove back to Tanashi Station. When we arrived at the station anxiously, Jorgito was standing on the platform and leaning his back on the wall. As soon as he saw us approaching, he muttered, with a half-smile on his lips, “I threw up. I couldn’t help it.”

“Ha-ha-ha… you overjoyed screwball! What would’ve done if we hadn’t showed up?” I asked, smiling.

“I guess I would’ve just hopped in a next train. I don’t know, man….”

That’s New To Me, I Confess

It was past 5:00 a.m. when I witnessed the trepidation. Even these days I can vividly picture in my mind that how Gerardo was standing alone at the empty dance floor dejectedly. I was nonplused to see him standing on the deserted dance floor with his head down. I approached him with much apprehension and asked perplexedly, “What is going on, my friend? I thought you had a gay time.”

He looked at me with a vanquished look and opened up his heart, “Yeah, I admit I really had a great time and love this place very much. I saw many beautiful vaginas and had many options to choose, but I don’t comprehend the phenomenon. Why on earth couldn’t I get a single vagina throughout the night? – that’s new to me, I confess. I’m as handsome as Narcissus; I dressed up nicely and danced like a sweet hurricane. I was ready to sweep a beautiful vagina’s feet off anytime opportunities arose. But alas, Shogo, look at me, here Gerardo Veloz, the exceptional handsome dude, is standing alone with empty hands. I wasn’t trying to get exceptionally ravishing vaginas, but I was trying to get a moderate vagina, but here I am – with empty hands, standing alone! That’s totally new to me!”

I felt sorry for him, because I know how much he wanted to get laid for the final night adventure. Whereof, I said sympathetically, “But my friend, you enjoyed too much tonight. So don’t be ashamed on your failed mission. You danced like a blissful moonstruck and had a great time – that was everything, I guess. But the problem with you is that you were constantly busy taking pictures and videotaping the hot blond vagina. As a matter of fact, you were forever gazing at her, watering your mouth throughout the night. You didn’t talk to other vaginas who seemed available. I suppose it was entirely your fault.”

“Shut up, man! I know I was busy videotaping the insanely sexy vagina. Golly, because of the arrogant vagina, I missed the opportunities to practice my art of fornication tonight! It was unforgivable! But I just couldn’t help it – that’s the truth. I simply couldn’t keep my eyes off the mesmerising vagina. Even though she ruined my final adventure, I love her dearly. Damn it, what a power she possesses!” he was laughing.

Can’t Help It!

While I was engaging in talking with a Swedish vagina, Gerardo was rushing toward me, as if it were matter of life and death, and uttered fascinatingly, “Shogo, look at that blond vagina who is just sailing in. Oh my God! She is ravishing and looks like an enchanting Russian princess. Do you know why she feels like a goddess as soon as she walks into the threshold? Because everyone is staring at her and can’t keep their eyes off her. All in all, she knows that her unearthly beauty has the power to magnetize men’s attention. Look at her pompous mien and stride; she is so arrogant and aloof. But what can I say? I’m already in love with her. Can’t help it!”

With that, he hasted elbowing the excited mob to go through, so that he can be close to her enough for taking pictures and videotaping her.