Unforgettable Scandals

When I saw a very first Mexican emerged gleefully from the gate, I could not believe in my own eyes and shouted involuntarily, “Dear me, they’ve brought the extra package!” It was Leticia, who was the last person I wanted to see in Japan. As soon as this uninvited guest casted her eyes on me, she approached me, kissed my cheeks, and started gushing like Niagara waterfall. It was apparent to all that she was high spirited. And then I was dismay to witness her first mischief: she started cavorting around ecstatically and singing as aloud as an amplifier. “It is a matter of time that this cracked vagina will cause unforgettable scandals during her sojourn in Japan,” I thought to myself while watching her performance.

Gerardo approached me with an apologetic look and defended himself, “Believe me, Shogo, it wasn’t my fault. She invited herself, man! When I told her that I was going to Japan, she said she would join us. My first impression was that she was shitting me, so I discarded her remark regardless. But alas, a week before our departure, she informed me that she bought the flight ticket. Can you beat it? Nobody can stop that barmy vagina, ha-ha-ha….”

My little sister helped me to pick them up because she owned a huge car. I have not driven a car since I was twenty-three-years old. I want to be as free as a vagabond without any resources, so that I am able to knock about the world from every calling and never miss single opportunity. The simple fact was that even if I wanted to have a car, I could not afford it due to my scandalous poverty. Anyway, many thanks to my little sister, we, eight of us, safely drove to my parents’ house. To begin with, we stopped by a hotel twenty minutes away from my parent’s house. Gerardo and Jorgito could stay at my parent’s house, but the rest of them needed an accommodation, because my parent’s house was not big enough to take all them in. As a matter of fact, I could find a hotel in the vicinity of my parent’s house, but Gerardo requested me specifically not to find a hotel in perilous, so that he could find a way in his orbit to release his stallion at the first opportune shot.


A Very Strange Relationship

I was at Tokyo Narita Airport and eagerly waiting for my friends to be emerging from the gate. Even these days I am very sure that if Gerardo and Jorgito had not visited Japan in order to shower their friendship over me, I would have been probably crushed to pieces by my mean colleagues. I was informed that their parents would visit Japan with them. It was great news for me to see their parents in Japan indeed, because I consider them as my Mexican parents. Their mother has always been kind to me and always showed me around Mexico City; their father is actually one of my good friends. We have built a very strange relationship. He cannot speak any English, and I speak a little Spanish; however, we always have a pleasant time. It always remains a great mystery to Gerardo. He always asks me with a puzzled look, “Shogo, I don’t understand anything. Every time I see my father and you together, you, guys, seem to be having a wonderful time. But you and my father can’t communicate with each other. How come you enjoy my father’s company all the time?”



In Order to Witness My Misfortune

It was the twenty second of December, and I woke up as fresh as a young god. I was intoxicated the whole day since the morning, and a beautiful tune of whistling constantly came from my lips. It seemed to me that my condition of illness was somehow getting better. Since I began working for Williams Lea whorehouse, I had constantly had a diarrhea with blood. Lo and behold, I produced an immaculate turd in this morning. When I saw it, I could not help myself praising Almighty Lord with appreciating tears in my eyes, and I could not help reciting a prayer: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted, amen.” However, I must warn you that this great prayer does not work before Japanese stuck-up cockroaches. Every time you show your humble side to them, they will take it as a sign of weakness, swell with pride, become contemptuous, and crucify you to the hell. I must confess that it was entirely my fault for allowing myself to humble before my mean colleagues. As soon as they saw my meek servitude, they started showering a fresh insult over me every single minute. Or the part of my ego had unconsciously craved exaltation, perhaps? – As Nietzsche said: “He who humbles himself wishes to be exalted.” At any rate, it did not matter to me today, since Gerardo and Jorgito were visiting Japan in order to witness my misfortune.

Made Me Cry Shamelessly

Whenever I recalled my wretched circumstances, I was depressed to the point of shame. I had already finished drinking coffee and decided to catch a train to go home. “I cannot understand how Japanese are able to exercise their meanness monstrously. I cannot understand how they can treat fellow Japanese, with so much maliciousness apropos of nothing. I cannot understand how they allow atrocious situations to keep going on? I really think that something was undoubtedly wrong with Japanese society. They need to change fundamentally and need to realize that we are not a cog of gigantic machine, but human beings with feelings. They cannot treat human beings like a chip of wood. I cannot accept their sadistic attitudes toward other human beings. They have to stop practicing their meanness; otherwise…,” my heart was screaming while I was waiting for a train. Unfortunately, this hostile sickness has spread to all over Japan like a plague for decades. I was so devastated, for I knew that Japanese contemptibleness was horrible and shocking – I had to stop their beastliness toward my fellow countrymen. On top of it all, I knew that I was right. However, I was powerless; I could not prevent them from Japanese low-down and dirty proclivity to abuse each other. This cold reality lacerated my heart, slapped my face, and made me cry shamelessly.


I Shook Her Hand off Repulsively

It was the last straw for me. I had to end the shuck and jive in this right instance.

“I’m not playing your stupid game anymore. I’ll make a call to confirm the transaction and beat the office for this right instance!” I said unwaveringly.

“You can’t do that, for this is your duty to complete the list as seemly as possible. I’ve always told you that making a list is not an easy job. It takes a time. And right now I need you to change the list and show it to me again.”

“No, I won’t do it. Do you know what I think of you? You are a pathetic dwarf, yes, you are downrightly a pathetic dwarf! If you don’t like the list, why don’t you make it yourself? Everyone has different tastes, and if you want to make it according to your taste, why didn’t you make it yourself at the first place? Enough is enough. I’m going home!”

With that, I was standing up.

She grabbed my left arm with both of her hands and shouted frantically, “You can’t leave the office till I allow. You haven’t finished your job, so you are not entitled to leave. Finish your job, I’m telling you!”

It was enough sappy jazz for me already, and I was so disgusted in her meanness to boot. I shook her hand off repulsively, as though I found a cockroach climbing up on my left arm, and I grabbed my jacket and bag, then I simply walked out the office while she was hysterically screaming behind my back.