Many people have said to me that life is so hard, and living is not easy but hard business. I have seen so many people that they have forever complained about their unsatisfied lives. They never try to change them. They simply accept them as they are. And they always utter the same old song and dance in dismay, “Why is life so hard?”
What fascinating me the most is that numerous people around the world work 5 days a week with a job which they hate so much. Why don’t they just quit a job and start finding true purpose of life. Because of money and losing a certain security of their lives, they are afraid of leaping into unknown life. Is this cowering attitude toward life worthwhile to live? – I do not think so. Without adventures in one’s life, life is always and will always remain humdrum business.
Find What You Want to Do for the Rest of Life
I have learned from my mistakes that I cannot be happy and forever think that life is so hard unless I walk on my private destiny relentlessly and live my life according to my heart’s prompting. When I worked 5 days a week with a job which I hate so much because of money and working 5 days a week like a robot for merely surviving, I always felt extremely unhappy, depressed, dejected, and dispirited – I constantly asked myself, “Why does life suck, why am I wasting my precious time for doing what I hate the most, and what am I doing here?” I believe that if one finds what he wants to do for the rest of life and follows his private destiny relentlessly, he doesn’t think that life is hard to live anymore, and he will start living each day with joy, for he has a purpose in his life. Without a purpose in one’s life, he always thinks that life is so hard. It is inevitable. And to cap it all, you have only one obligation to fulfill: You should realize who you truly are. Everyone has his own uniqueness, so you should discover your own unique being and respect your individuality – that is the starting point to be happy. Once you realize who you truly are, you will never think that life is so hard; on the contrary, you will fall in love with life.
Life Is So Hard and Meaningless
I described how I felt when I was being a slave and worked for the company that I hate so much – how I always felt that life was so hard and meaningless in Liberation – Seeking the Meaning g of Life.
Working five days a week is constantly a dilemma to me because I do not believe in what I am doing. I have only one ambition – being a writer. I just want to enjoy my life and want to write books every single day. It sounds simple enough for you, but it has been so difficult for me to achieve.
I absolutely believe that we have only one obligation to fulfill we should realize who we truly are. Everyone has his own uniqueness, so one should discover his own unique being and respect his individuality. I have always thought that if everyone starts trying to perceive what he really wants to do for the rest of his life and starts living his life according to his individuality, the world will become a better place to live, and people will become happier. We cannot change a big thing immediately, but we can start changing a small thing. Therefore, when one begins acting who he truly is according to his heart’s desire, he will be definitely happier every day. His happy soul will influence his neighbors and so on and so forth. It will be contagious. Eventually, this single individual happy soul will become a bunch of collective happy souls around the world, and then the world will become a happy place. The individuality is the starting point. It might sound silly to you, but I still believe in it with all my heart.
I just do not want to pretend to be someone else; I just want to be who I truly am every single day. However, it is so difficult for me to be true to myself because of the Japanese society system. If I decide to be true myself, I am perfectly sure that I will be fired immediately, and I cannot find a job anywhere. To get a job in Japan, I have to pretend to be someone else during a job interview and tell what they want to hear, but I do not believe any single word I utter, which is torture to me. It makes me unbearably nauseated to say what I do not believe whenever I get a job interview; however, I have to if I want to get a job.
Working for a company exactly the same pretenses are required. I should: pretend to obey every single nonsense that my supervisor says; pretend to do what I am sick of; pretend to talk with my colleagues about how to improve job environments; pretend to make a smile when I want to cry with humiliation; pretend to be doing something when in fact, I am doing nothing, because in Japan even if you have nothing to do at an office, you have to pretend to keep occupied with something, otherwise, your boss is going to scowl at you for doing nothing; etc. I just do not want to pretend to be someone else anymore, but it is impossible for me as long as I stay in Japan.
Why do I have to pretend?
It is very easy, money. I have never comprehended the meaning of money because it seems just a piece of paper to me. If I do not have money, I cannot do anything, because people always ask for it when I ask them small favors. The society system is wrong from the beginning, because every single human being must depend on money if he wants to live. Because of money, I have to pretend so that I can get a job to earn it. Because of money, I have to pretend to agree with my supervisor all the time so that I get paid. Because of money, I am humiliated, nervous, depressed, frustrated, vexed, insulted, melancholic, dispirited, anxious, distressed, agitated, etc. Money makes people crazy. Because of money, people make wars; because of money people kill each other; because of money, women become prostitutes; because of money, people betray each other; because of money, people are suffering and hungry. Every negative thing that has happened to the world so far stems from money. Once I thought that I would have to help people and try to fight against the society system, but people are so ignorant. If I fight against evil, it will be something worthwhile, but if I fight against stupidity, it will be helpless. I have shifted my aim swiftly and have tried to rescue only myself from nonsense, but my helpless tribulations have still not let me go and been gripping my neck firmly.
Face the Music
When I felt that I could not pretend someone else anymore and realized that my life led to where I did not wish to be ahead, I decided to face the music: I talked to myself in earnest and determined to follow my heart to the end, no matter what. Here is excerption from Liberation – Seeking the Meaning of Life:
I am approaching PARCO. Without thinking, I am taking an escalator to ascend to the second floor where there are balconies on both sides of the buildings with some tables and chairs arranged. As soon as I find an empty table, I let myself sit down. Out of desperation, I force myself to face the music. My heroes indeed took a long time to publish their first books, but they had constantly practiced writing, contributing to magazines or newspapers. They had wasted millions of words to reach such masterly states. On the other hand, I always boast to everyone that I am a writer, but in fact, I have never written anything, not even a single line. I have let eight years elapsed without any serious writing, except having researched books endlessly to find something to inspire me to get started. What is wrong with me? Why do I never try to write something seriously? I am feeling that I am a thoroughly useless and utter failure. However, I do not want to take a job again and waste my time anymore, for taking a job is not my aim in this life, and I cannot endure unbearable humiliation again, namely, pretending to be someone else. I know with all my conscience that I do not want to be like the rest of Japanese and do not want to participate in daily frivolous Japanese activities.
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay! Even if I am completely isolated from the rest of Japanese and fight against them alone, I refuse to take a job again and refuse to pretend to be someone else and refuse to make false friends and refuse to bow before those I do not respect and refuse to smile at someone I hate and refuse to work for organizations and refuse to have a boss, and on top of it all, I refuse to contribute anything toward Japanese society. Even though I have still not proved myself yet, I know what I want from my life and know what kinds of life I do not want to lead. I do not believe in Japanese government, education system, politics, or in any kind of institutions. In fact, I have nothing to do with them and also have nothing in common with them. I am a freeman! I think that any organizational groups do not improve me as a human being; on the contrary, they ruin my individuality, piece by piece. I prefer solo performances and prefer to sing my own music even if I sing a little key off. Withal, I want to cultivate my individuality. I do not think that I have totally wasted my time although I have not written anything, because at least I have been striving for what I want to be with all my might. That is something to me.
Think about frivolous Japanese, they are thoroughly aimless. Wherever they are, they always look at fucking mobile phones. Even in a train, idiots play online games, send unimportant messages like possessed, talk about trivial things aloud shamelessly on a mobile phone, etc. Where can I find such dolts except Japan? I want to know! Nowhere at all, sir! Their ignorance is beyond comprehension. In Japan nobody knows of Knut Hamsun! One day I made a pilgrimage to a bookshop to determine if his books were available. But alas, they did not have them, and, with a matter of fact tone, they informed me that his books were not translated into Japanese language. What a scandal! I was outraged, because Japanese bastards do not show any proper respect for the greatest writer whose books have influenced over many great writers in history. He had to deserve better. Instead of his wonderful books, the bookstore stacks a bunch of Japanese comic books! I see everywhere, even in a toilet I am sure, that over fifty-year old dolts are carrying weekly comic magazines under their arms! No wonder no Japanese knows of Hamsun and no wonder they worship money and technology steep down to the wrong direction. If they try to read Last Joy, they might be back to human beings again and might be saved. I am so ashamed at the fact that his beautiful books are nil to my own country people. I do not want to be belonged to this ignorable race!
One thing is transparent: Even if I am not able to write anything in the next ten years, I refuse to give it up because I know from the bottom of heart: I am in love with writing. No women ever give me pleasure like the first time I laid my eyes on Mysteries. After every intense session with Hamsun, Miller, Hesse, or Dostoevsky, I cannot control my intoxication, I feel so alive, and I take a long walk in order to cool down my excitement. It is a wonderful time that I have passionately read their books to be instructed and educated; I have studied them assiduously even line by line in order to figure out the magic of their writing; I have searched in them so that I can understand the meaning of life. I want to write like them, which is constantly in my mind. Even if I am not able to write like them, I know that I have something to say to the world. I have borne beautiful music inside me. Even if it takes me more ten years to express myself and even if nobody cares about my work, I must express myself. I do not care for anything anymore. If people say that I am bizarre because I hate my own country, I will just shrug my shoulders as if I defiantly said, “So what?” I am uncivilized and do not belong to any organizations. I belong to myself and work for myself: Solo performance is my virtue! I treasure my individuality to the heavens. I know that this is the right thing to pursue and know that I am right because my heart tells me so. I refuse to be finished until I sing my own song. I still have not had the slightest idea how to escape from my helpless tribulations, but let me sing my own song one more time: the last desperate effort!”
Change Your Life
I recommend anyone, who think life is so hard, to change their lives immediately before it’s too late. Living the life that you have always wanted to live will take a time and require enormous courage and patience, but it is worthwhile to live in this way. As a matter of fact, it will take a longer than you can imagine, but I believe from the deepest heart that every human being should live in this way. And on top of it all, you should enjoy the process of becoming who you truly are, start listening to your heart, and live your own life according to your heart’s prompting.
5 things you can do to change your life
Here are 5 things you can do to change your life and avoid being the trap of feeling that life is so hard:
- Find what you truly want to do for the rest of your life, which will become your purpose in your life. When you find out what you want to do for the rest of life and start following your private destiny relentlessly, you will find a purpose in daily life and will be happy.
- Stop thinking how people see you in real life, start thinking what you think of yourself. Thinking of what other people think of you is wasting your precious time on this delightful earth. Ergo, start thinking what you think of yourself, and then you will know what you should do to improve yourself to reach what you want to become.
- Stop working only for money and for merely surviving. If you do not like your job, just quite your job before it annihilates your will and soul to live and enjoy your life. Find a job which you are passionate about and start doing what you are passionate about! If you do not have passion what you are doing, it is tantamount to wasting your time.
- Be true yourself all the time. If you pretend to be someone else to be pleased by everyone, stop doing it forthwith since you will be unhappy forever and cannot stop feeling that life is so hard. You do not be like everyone else, for you are totally unique individual. Therefore, you had better start showing your true color and utterly become true yourself all the time. If you become true yourself, people will adjust you. If they don’t, it will be their problem.
- Enjoy being solitude. Stop being a part of herd. Even though I know that herd instinct is too powerful around the world nowadays, you need to cultivate your individuality to walk on your private destiny. You should find a certain time to be alone each day to understand yourself. If you are always a part of herd, you will never be able to cultivate your originality and individuality, which means that you live in someone else’s life. And that is the reason for feeling that life is so hard.
