I Am a Warrior

Here he was jumping around the chair and interrupting me delightedly, “You are the man, Shogo! You always teach me how to endure my sufferings and what I have to do to fulfill my mission. You know, Shogo, I totally agree with what you said, everything down to the last details, and you always inspire me. I promise I’ll do my best for my mission and will soon quit my job so that I can be free. I know my friends will say a lot of foolish things to me, but I‘ll ignore them. If I try to explain them what I’m doing, it’ll be wasting my breath because they simply can’t understand. I have a great deal to achieve, so I can’t waste my precious time and breathe either, ha-ha-ha.”

Here I couldn’t refrain myself from bursting out laughing because of his pure enthusiasm and said, “Cheers for our freedom, my friend!”

“Salud por nuestra libertad, amigo!”

After a brief silence, he said, “You know, Shogo, you are one step ahead of me because you absolutely know what you want to do for the rest of your life. But for me, I just know I don’t want to participate in the society system, don’t want to be employed, and just want to be free.”

“I guess it doesn’t matter. The important thing is whether you fight for your dear life each day even if you have no idea what sort of road you’re going to walk on in the future. And I am pretty sure that you’ll figure out what you want to do in your life along the road.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Thank you very much for always encouraging me, Shogo. But I feel as long as I am employed, I can’t escape from this frivolous society system and cannot find the exit. I’ve been running, running to try to escape from this mess in all my life, but I only find walls that have obstinately blocked me so far. But you know, I am a warrior; I’ll fight for my dear life until I’ll find the exit! I think God has sent you into my life so that I can complete my mission, I really think so.”

You’ll Be Better off Alone

I took a cold Fresca from the table and drank it to quench my thirst.

“Yes, it is goddamn difficult for me to persevere my mission in Japan. I am perpetually vexed, depressed, and melancholic. The perfect trilogy, ha-ha-ha. That’s the truth. That’s why I always take a vacation every six months to visit Mexico. Frankly, Jorgito, whenever picturing to myself that I’ll be working five days a week like a slave for the rest of my life, I feel like committing suicide. I really don’t want to hang around with Japanese because every time I go out with them, they always complain about their job circumstances. They just want to get it off their chest, so that they can go to work the next day as if their sufferings had disappeared. You know, I don’t want to jeopardize my life like them. They are incurably ignorant, because they will do what they don’t like for the rest of life and will never know of the meaning of life. When they retire, they will realize they haven’t done anything in their lives except working five days a week constantly. It will be too late for them to change their lives at that juncture, because they will be simply too old to do it and will be totally depressed if they think about it seriously. What they will have in their heart for the rest of their old live is: absolute regret for their past life. I refuse to be like them and be happy being alone in Japan even if I sometimes feel unbearable loneliness. You’ll be better off alone, trust me, Jorgito. It’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t understand you. Besides, I don’t have any time to listen to their nonsense because I have an important mission to fulfill. Being a writer is the most important thing in my life, not taking a job like a slave. Hence, I always contemplate about my new adventure, namely, going back to Vancouver to write my book which gives me hope and courage.”

I Really Think You Are Special

“You know, Shogo, I can’t talk about my true feelings with my Mexican friends because they think I am cracked. They don’t understand what I’m talking about, but they always think about how to get a good job and how to get a good salary. They always talk about money. I don’t care about fucking money. I don’t want to be a millionaire. But I just need a little money to take care of myself without being employed. I just want to have my own business and don’t need any employees. I just want to work for myself and want to be free from this fucking society system. Whenever I am in my office, I am no longer Jorgito anymore. I just want to be Jorgito all the time! Every time I tell my friends about my vision of life, they ridicule me, call me moron, and tell me to wake up and take my life more seriously. Only you perfectly understand me. We are the same kind, Shogo. Tell me what I have to do so that I can achieve my goal?”

I replied considerately, “Jorgito, I totally understand how you feel, you know, because I am completely in the same situation in Japan. It can be safe to say Japanese people’s lack of understanding of the meaning of life is much worse than Mexicans. People simply can’t understand what we are talking about, which I’ve learned from my sufferings. I really think you are special, because ordinary people are not able to think about the meaning of life, but you always think about it. They only know how to think about earning money. You want to enjoy life more than anyone else. I think you are the one who takes life more seriously than anyone else. You absolutely know what you don’t want to do in your life and clearly know what kind of life you want to lead. I suppose your friends are jealous of you and envy you secretly, because you have the courage to express what you feel and have the courage to persevere for what you believe in. And they know in the depth of their hearts that they don’t have the courage to act as you do. They are actually the cowering ones. I think you don’t need to explain to mediocrities what you are doing because they’ll only give you pessimistic answers. Ordinary people are ignorant about life, but we are the ones who know about life more than anyone else because we’ve been trying to understand it. You just do what you must do and think about only your mission in your life every day. Just ignore ordinary people because talking with fools is completely wasting your time. You don’t have any time to waste, for you must fulfill your destiny. I always ignore Japanese and concentrate on my mission; it’s very hard though.”

I Can’t Shake It Off

It was almost three years ago when we went to Acapulco and rented a very beautiful house on the cliff with a wonderful ocean view. There were ten of us then, eight Mexicans, one American, and me. Jorgito and I were sitting in the garden beside the pool. And he said, “I’m so glad to see you again, my friend, because I want to talk to you about a lot of things. I’ve been vexed. Now you are on the vacation, and I know you don’t want to talk about your job circumstances, but tell me sincerely how you feel every day as a slave in Japan?”

“Jorgito, I don’t need to express how I hate my job to you because you already knew. I don’t want to take a job, but I have no choice, my friend, because I have a mission in my life. I want to go back to Vancouver, which has everything I need. For example, English Bay and Stanley Park where I can peacefully stroll around, every corner of  the downtown where I can find coffee shops, beautiful mountains, beautiful women, and so on and so forth. I really want to go back to Vancouver to write my book as soon as possible. However, it is too depressing for me to go to work every single day, and I am totally aware that I’m wasting my precious time.”

“Exactly!” he exclaimed. “You know, Shogo, likewise I always feel I’m completely wasting my time. I’m thinking constantly about what the meaning of life is. It’s always on my mind. I can’t shake it off. I really don’t think working five days a week is the meaning of life. But mediocrities’ goals are having a right to work and getting a good job. Are they nuts? It is insane, my friend. Why do I have to work five days a week for the rest of my life? Life is one time. Who decided in the first place that we, human beings, have to work five days a week? I really want to know because if I could go back to find a culprit, I would strangle him to death. I mean it. I am so angry at this fucking society system.”

She Is Still in Love with Me

When I finished reading his message, I burst out laughing with tears in my eyes because I understand perfectly how he felt when he wrote this message. I am always happy when I receive a message from him, because it makes me realize that far away from Japan, there is a man who feels as I do, thinks about life as I do, is trapped by the society system as I am, and on top of it all, has the same illness as I do: ulcerative colitis. I just cannot believe in such coincidences. Theses similarities are signs from God, perhaps? We suffer from the same foolish daily activities due to the modern society systems and from the same illness! And a wonder that he is Mexican!

Anyway, I am thinking whether he will execute his aim on this time or not, because as a matter of fact, I am accustomed to receiving this kind of everlasting-quitting-business message from him over a month now.

I have been sitting in a café almost for two hours now and been recalling how I met him. It was eight years ago when I met him the first time in Mexico. Gerardo invited me to come to Mexico to stay at his house. Gerardo is one of my best friends whom I met in Vancouver nine years ago. Jorgito is his older brother. As soon as we met each other, we started talking as if we had known each other for a long time. He was twenty-two years old then. He said to me proudly, “You know, Shogo, I met a Japanese girl in Toronto two years ago. Her name is Hana, and she is so beautiful. She’s sent me several post cards from different countries. She likes traveling around the world. The last one is from India, but I’ve never written her back, so she doesn’t know whether I receive them or not. Poor Hana, because it’s obvious that she is still in love with me. Listen Shogo, it isn’t my fault, but His who is above. I haven’t asked God for being so handsome to come on this earth, ha-ha-ha.” Such is my good friend Jorgito.