I’ll Say No More

Seeking the Meaning of Life

After the present exchange, we went to Chiluca, where the house of Leticia’s sister is located. There were almost forty relatives of Gerardo’s family there. We enjoyed a delicious dinner and enjoyed playing games.

In the garden they had prepared piñatas for the children. Gerardo forced me to hit a piñata. Therefore, I decided to show my skill at brandishing a stick – I was hitting it like a furious samurai. Everyone was laughing and shouting at me due to my unduly violent performance.

The pictures of each family member were adorned on homemade paper boards in the corner of the garden. Leticia’s sister showed me where my picture was, saying, “There is handsome Japanese. I have only a few pictures of you, but it doesn’t matter because you are good looking always.”

Gerardo had just happened to listen to her compliments of me and smiled at me with a slight hint of mockery. I said to him exuberantly, “Gerardo, did you hear what she said to me just now. Oh my God, why? Please tell me in the name of Almighty, why must my attraction be universal? Give me a rest, man!”

“I knew it, man! I knew exactly what you were going to say! That’s why I didn’t say anything. Happy son of bitch! She just wants to be nice to you. But I’ll say no more, ha-ha-ha,” he was laughing.

To my great surprise, they prepared the game called “Cien Mexicanos Dijeron” which is an imitation of the famous Mexican quiz show. They prepared a big screen, a whiteboard, microphones, tables, switches, and so on and so forth in the garden. They made teams segregated according to the each family, and I belonged to Gerardo’s family.

Of course, Jorgito was the one who enjoyed and became animated during the game the most. He was dancing around like a nigger, shaking his Mexican brown ass jubilantly like a contented donkey, and shouting at the top of his lungs with perspiration on his brow although the night was cold with chilly wind. Needless to say, stupid Leticia was delighted beyond human understanding and was capering around the garden like an exuberant pig.

I did not know what was going on accurately because the game was played in Spanish. Anyway, I participated in the game attentively and tried to understand it with all my zeal. And finally, the game was over. Jorgito announced to me as proud as a god, “Shogo, we won! You saw with your own eyes how quickly I answered the questions, like a flash. My shrewdness is a gift from heaven, you know, ha-ha-ha. We won because of me, me, me. Stupid Gerardo constantly gave wrong answers, but I covered his ass with my unearthly remarkable knowledge, heh-heh-heh-heh!”

Before we left, Leticia’s sister gave me the picture of every family member with names on it. She was generous enough to include me on this picture as well. What an admirable human gesture indeed!

I Am Falling into Reverie

Seeking the Meaning of Life

The following morning after the Christmas party at Leticia’s sister’s house, I am woken up at noon by Gerardo’s unimaginable loud fart, louder than human beings have ever produced yet in the history. It is literally so loud, I am almost jumping out off my skin, it is a sheer explosion. I am exasperated with his rude way of waking me up and shout, “Son of bitch! I thought someone threw dynamite at me. What time is it? I don’t need your fucking alarm clock in this morning!”

“Ha-ha-ha, sorry, man. I couldn’t control it. I must’ve forgotten to turn my alarm off yesterday. It’s noon sharp. My alarm clock is always exact, you know. You can sleep more if you want. Don’t worry; it’ll never explode again, I promise. Really sorry man, ha-ha-ha.”

The party had ended past 5:00 a.m. last night, so naturally I am still a wee bit sleepy and in a dreamy mood. I am lying down on the bed, and a single sunray is beaming in from the chink of curtain. The greeting of sunray makes me cheer up and makes me feel that today should be a glorious day. I am falling into reverie….

Gerardo’s family has their own way to enjoy Christmas. Each member of the family is obliged to buy a present for only one of family members. At this time, I was included as one of them. Three weeks ago, we decided who would buy a present for whom by picking up a paper on which was written a name from the box. I picked up the paper on which was written Javier’s name. Javier is Gerard’s oldest brother. My name was picked up by Jorgito. As a matter of fact, Gerardo and I went to Santa Fe to buy Christmas presents five days ago, and it took us over three hours to choose presents!

Yesterday at 8:00 p.m., Gerardo’s family and I gathered around the small Christmas tree that was surrounded with presents at his parents’ house. I gave Javier elegantly designed shirts and a perfume set. He was happy as a child when I gave him his presents and gave me amiable hugs three times in a row, since he could not repress his surprise and delightedness.

Jorgito gave me a mobile phone and two shirts with an expectant smile on his face. While I was opening the presents, his enthusiasm overwhelmed him, and he bellowed, “Shogo, tear them up! I told you, it’s very useful. Now you have a mobile phone. Let me call you. Oh my God, it’s very nice, man. You have fifty minutes free credit. Gerardo, here is Shogo’s mobile phone number – save it, save it! Shogo, do you like these shirts? Try them on right now because I want to see if they fit on you. Oh my God, they fit you perfectly!” 

In point of fact, it was a superb feeling to exchange presents sometimes. In Japan families are not as close as Mexicans. Japanese lost such feelings long time ago because of their hectic daily activities. I think that Japanese had better learn from Mexicans how to show their emotions unrestrictedly and how to enjoy such family bonds sometimes if they want to remain as human beings. 

We Must Go to Cuba

Seeking the Meaning of Life

Here I couldn’t refrain because my curiosity overwhelmed me. I asked excitedly with a cigarette in my left hand, “But how, man? It’s difficult for me to believe what you’ve just said. Why women are willingly to open their legs? Why is it so easy for us to get laid in Cuba? Give me some explanations to make me understand, Gerardo!”

He gave me an indulgent smile and explained to me joyfully, “Because they are so poor, so naturally they are willingly to offer their vaginas for money. As I told you, you just go to any night club, and as soon as you sit on a sofa, over twenty women will surround you. You can see any kind of women such as blonde, brunette, blue eye, green eyes, tall, short, huge ass, magnificent teats, and so on and so forth. Believe me, Shogo, and they are so beautiful. You have to choose who you want and simply tell her that you want to fuck her tonight – that’s all, man. Of course, you have to pay, but it’s so cheap like twenty or thirty American bucks – that’s nothing, my friend. And they can stay with you all night if you want.”

I had still not been persuaded yet. I was shaking my head, “No, no, I still can’t believe you. Really, my friend? If it’s true, we must go!”

“Of course, my friend, you’ll see, you’ll see. If you go to Cuba, you’ll see every policeman will protect you and support you. They are over generous to foreigners, since this is the Cuban law. Women can’t go to a hotel with foreigners due to the law as well; therefore, we rented a house that time and brought vaginas there. But I’m not sure if they still have the same laws like three years ago. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter what sorts of professions they have, they get paid the almost same salary, you know, it doesn’t matter if he is a policeman, a lawyer, a baker, a banker, a businessman, and so on… because their way of thinking is that everyone should be equal. Cuba is the communist country, you know, the politics. I think as long as Fidel Castro dictates the country, it will remain the same. As a result, we must go to Cuba before the Cuban mustache dies, ha-ha-ha.” 

“I didn’t know such things still happen in the world. Maybe, I am a little ignorant of the politics, ha-ha-ha.”

He uttered sarcastically, “Shogo, I have to teach you everything, ha-ha-ha. Anyway, you’re interrupting my story. I just wanted to tell you that fucking Luis didn’t fuck any girls in Cuba, too.”

I was resentful because of Luis’s stupidity and exclaimed, “What? Sissy didn’t want to get laid in Cuba as well! How come? I’ve started considering that he might be gay, you know.”

He was laughing at my remark.

“You’re on the right track, man,” he said affirmatively, “I’ve suspected it for a long time. I believe he is gay. Anyway, I told you that he is inclined to do opposite things from other people; these nights in Cuba, everyone wanted to get laid, so naturally Luis wanted to show us that he, Luis Lopez, is different from mediocrities and doesn’t need such an empty pleasure because he is occupied with more important things, ha-ha-ha. I don’t care about that gay anymore. Let him do whatever his fancy dictates. I wish to Christ that he can leave this earth as a virgin, ha-ha-ha. That is his lot!”

I was getting tired and said, “Let’s go home, my friend. I am a little sleepy. But don’t forget he is your friend, so you should give him another chance, okay? Even if he is gay, he is your best friend, you know.”

His anger was alleviated somewhat, and he was getting drunk. And he started jabbering, “What? You want leave your friend alone here, who still wants to talk with you more, you, selfish son of bitch, ha-ha-ha. But, Shogo, we must go to Cuba, okay? Even if nobody wants to go there, we must go. Who cares if there will be only two of us? The essential thing is that we have to enjoy, you know. In April, perhaps? Wait, man! Fucking Luis wants to be an eternal virgin, pufi! It makes the invoice maker filled with loathing. One more drink, man! Shogo, you can fuck many girls in Cuba, you’ll see. I am really sure that fucking Luis is gay, you know.”

Can You Comprehend that Guy?

Seeking the Meaning of Life

“Shogo, I’m not talking about just enjoying dancing with and touching beautiful vaginas; I’m talking about enjoying life. I like to go to Excess with you or my friends because we can talk and have a wonderful time together, you know. I like to go there to enjoy time with my friends, which is the main point; however, fucking Luis doesn’t recognize such sorts of enjoyment obviously. Moreover, you know, it’s very difficult for us to have sex with beautiful women and have a relationship with them. We might have a chance to have a relationship with extremely beautiful women, but it is one out of million in one’s lifetime. Of course, it’s easy for us to have sex with ordinary beauties. What I’m trying to say is that those kinds of places give us fantasy, you know. It’s sometimes good for us to go to Excess to forget everything and just enjoy the moment fully like a child, you know.”

I nodded with bewilderment, “Of course, my friend, you are right. I like to go there not only for dancing, but in order to have fun with my friends. But seriously, why doesn’t Luis want to go to a whore house to enjoy women? I sincerely don’t understand him. Why has he triumphantly protected his virginity since he was born, as if being virgin shined his virtue elegantly? Maybe, only heaven knows why he is extremely stubborn as a mule. It’s not healthy for him to be virgin such a long time, you know. It doesn’t matter if he’s lost his virginity to a whore or an ordinary girl: The essential thing is that he has to enjoy women sometimes.”

He affirmed and cried out, “Exactly, my friend! He has to enjoy women. Son of bitch’s small brain can’t comprehend such kinds of things. Do you know why he always does things opposite from everyone? Because he thinks it’s cool to do opposite things from us – it makes him special and unique. Can you comprehend that guy? For example, we went to Cuba three years ago. We were five people, including fucking Luis. Shogo, you can’t imagine how easy it is to get laid in Cuba. Very easy, man. Just go to any night club, and girls will surround you, waiting to be chosen. I stayed there for three days, and I fucked girls every night. Believe me, it’s a piece of cake. You must go to Cuba because you are in Mexico right now. It’s very cheap to go there. We must go there together, and I assure you that you’ll get laid every night, my friend.”

What an Asshole!

Seeking the Meaning of Life

I was astonished by his tirade, because I had never seen him talking so vehemently and aggressively toward someone. I thought that he probably had more reasons to attack him violently, so I decided not to contradict him and replied cautiously in order to know what was bothering his heart.

“Gerardo, as you said, he had no friends and had been constantly alone, so he might not know how to interact with friends and might not know how to build a friendship because he had been alone till he was twenty-two years old. It was too much to be alone, you know. And despite everything, he is your friend, so why don’t you give him another chance?”

“No, man, I won’t invite him anymore!” he was getting emotional and spit two times on the floor vehemently. And then he said, “Shogo, you don’t know him as I do. Sorry to say, but it is the truth. You know, he always asks me to invite him when I have some plans, but he always does diametrically opposite things from everyone whenever we go out. For instance, he always refuses every time I invite him to go to Excess. Why, man? Only heaven knows what is in this disgusting son of bitch’s head. Everyone likes Excess, and we have to enjoy life, you know. Believe me, he is virgin and has never had single girlfriend in his entire life. Of course, he is shy, and nobody likes his hairy body – he must be the descendant of an orangutan, ha-ha-ha. Shogo, twenty-seven winters are behind him – he is twenty-seven years old now. Can you believe that he is still a virgin and refuses to go to Excess to touch beautiful vaginas? What an asshole! You know, what he said to me once I invited him to Excess – he said he doesn’t want to waste his time and money; those kinds of places have the power to ruin family! Can you believe that hairy prick? I got angry, man.”

“What was your response?”

He lit a cigarette afresh and replied indignantly, “Son of bitch! I said to him right to his face. Those kinds of places even existed in Jesus’ time as well, and Jesus himself let Mary Magdalene wash his feet with her hair – obviously, Jesus had a special affection toward a whore. But fucking Luis wasn’t moved by my words and simply said he didn’t want to become degenerated. What a conceited and obstinate bastard he is! Jesus showed us that even a whore is able to have a pure heart. He hasn’t learned anything from history, that hairy, bespectacled orangutan!”