My Courage Wants to Laugh Tonight

It was the Fourth of January that we came back to Tokyo. Gerardo and Jorgito called the shots: we must crash Roppongi tonight, since it was their last day of sojourn in Japan. We hurried to head back to my house, so that we could take a shower and change clothes for the final night adventure. To my great amazement, Gerardo donned a new shirt, new jeans, a new coat, and new shoes – he spruced up with new attires in toto. “Son of a bitch has determined to get laid tonight,” I thought to myself. What is more, Jorgito became a weather prophet and predicted about the night adventure, in an imposing tone: “My courage wants to laugh tonight. I would show you the real courage tonight, which will be lionized.”

As we arrived at Roppongi Station, I said to Jorgito as a joke, “Amigo, you must enjoy tonight to the fullest and show all your courage so that you won’t regret anything. Tomorrow you’re flying back to Mexico, and your new job is waiting for you.”

“Amigo, don’t ever mention the fucking job again!” With that, he swung his right fist to hit the wall, with a brute force, as if he were about to knock out Mike Tyson.


Life Is Right Now, You Know

“Heaven! Idiot! I can’t believe that you were secretly planning to lynch me seven years ago. Over all, you shouldn’t have laughed at the misfortune of a wretched pariah, man! Remember, in this part of the world you have to endure things that are no joke – my misfortune is one of them. It’s a sheer torture!” I was shaking my head displeasingly.

“I am sorry, Shogo. I am really sorry for laughing in your face, but I simply can’t help it. Please escape from Japan before it annihilates you, ha-ha-ha…. By the way, stupid Gerardo is still using internet. He knows I’m faster than him to be browsing through internet. In fact, I can open a dozen homepages simultaneously and can check a good night club just for five minutes. But Gerardo didn’t listen to me and insisted he would check it. I know what he is being up to right now – he isn’t checking a night club; he is checking the e-mail inbox. He wants to know whether something has happened for his job during his two weeks-absence. Can you beat it? Shogo, we’re being on the vacation, but he is thinking about the job! What a sickness! We still have more two days to enjoy this fantastic vacation, but he’s been already worried about the stupid job! Who cares about a stupid job? Life is right now, you know. We must enjoy the moment to the fullest and must forget a stupid job, but anxious Gerardo! Why can’t he wait to check a pointless job schedule until he returns to Mexico? Why is he deliberately trying to spoil our joy! Why can’t he just forgo the future for a while, let himself lose, and start dancing to the present? I don’t understand anything!”

You Are a Rare Magnanimous Bird

He wiped laughing tears with both of his hands and tried to compose himself. And then he went on, “All joking aside, Shogo, I have to impart a dark secret to you, you know, I have a dark side, that I can’t shake off, ha-ha-ha…. When Gerardo told me that he made Japanese friend in Vancouver and invited you to visit my fatherland, I was alarmed. You know, many Mexicans consider that Japanese are very doll creatures, who do nothing, except working five days a week like a machine. I was very curious how come he became the friend of Japanese. But he explained me that he didn’t like Japanese people, tried to stay away from them for his own good, and earnestly thought he would never make Japanese friends in Vancouver. However, as soon as he met you, his view was dramatically changed. He told me that you are a totally different bird from other Japanese and original individual. And also he assured me that I would like you immediately – you and I would become good friends to each other instantly. As a matter of fact, Gerardo was absolutely right – you are a rare magnanimous bird; you are my best friend and like a brother to me now. Dear Shogo, please don’t be angry with me and listen to me. What I’m trying to disclose here is that I was actually planning to lynch you out of the respect of my own race, when you descended upon Mexican soil, if you were like ill-considered Japanese. You know how patriotic I am and how much I’m concerned about the wellbeing of my fellow countrymen. Anyway, thank God – I hadn’t felt the necessity for lynching you, since you’re a thoroughly unique individual, ha-ha-ha….”



Japan Is Siberia for You

Here he was suddenly bursting out laughing apropos of nothing, with noticeable tears in his eyes. I was totally perplexed by his fit of laughter and thought that Japanese antagonism might have made him a raving lunatic. Ergo, I asked him in a wary manner, “What is going on, Jorgito? Are you still in a right mind?”

“I’m oaky, I’m okay, amigo… sorry… I’m just… you know… I’m just wondering how you’ve been surviving under the suffocated climate for such a long time. No offence, amigo, but if I were in your shoes, I would have already committed suicide, to be sure. How could you keep on sustaining under the offensively rigid rules of Japanese society? Shogo, how could you prevent yourself from losing your mind? For the love of God, would you please leave goddamn Japan immediately? You know, amigo, Japan is Siberia for you, and Japanese will be caning you if you don’t escape forthwith, ha-ha-ha….”


I Am Wide Awoken Now

He must have felt umbrage at the Japanese social snub, because he was talking to himself aloud and walking on the street to and fro, blandishing his right fist toward heaven riotously, like Don Quixote was slashing invisible giants. I was a bit intimidated by his raging performance, so I said as tenderly as possible in order to placate his outrage, “Amigo, please calm down. I know why you’re outraged, but you have to understand you are not in Mexico; you are in Japan. This kind of foolishness is everywhere; this is the way how things work in Japan unfortunately.”

“Don’t give me that malarkey!” he roared. “Why, amigo? Why didn’t the jackass allow us to come along with Gerardo? It was so stupid! In Mexico we can go together to wait for friends and so can other countries, except fucking Japan! I’ve knocked about many countries in my life but never seen anywhere, such lackluster people like Japanese! To tell the truth, amigo, at first I didn’t understand why you hate your own country and fellow countrymen so much. And I thought Japan was a very beautiful country. Above all, I was extremely impressed by Japan, where everything is organized perfectly, for example, trains always come on time, impressive skyscrapers, streets are clean and even, immaculate toilets with an ass washer, and so on and so forth. However, only ten days is enough for me to uncover the real Japan. Amigo, I am wide awoken now – I can no longer stand fatuous Japanese anymore. I’m starting to hate Japan to my guts and sick of Japanese frivolities; Japanese are endlessly talking about rules, you know…. Everywhere I go, they are forever talking about rules, rules, rules… damn it! Their narrow-mindedness makes me puke. Besides, Japanese rigid rules of social behavior suffocate me to death. I’ve never thought that Japan is as tough nut to crack, as you’ve described, but I do now. And you’ve always told me about the regimented unemotional Japanese social system which is accepted, without question, by most people. I’m telling you, as God is my witness, you’re out-and-out right about it, amigo!”