We arrived at Kings Pub. There were few people due to it being Sunday night. We found a table in the middle of room and ordered our drinks. “Here is a very nice place, my friend. I like it here. Good music, amiable ambiance, and nice food,” I said.

“Yes, I like it here, too.”

He drank a glass of beer and said reminiscently, “You know, Shogo, this year has been very bad for me. As a matter of fact, no good things have happened to me. I haven’t met any interesting girls in this year either. I often ask God why, but He doesn’t answer anyway…. Remember my last girlfriend? We went to Veracruz together last summer where we enjoyed rafting and rowed like Trojans, ha-ha-ha…. I broke up with her six months ago, since then I haven’t gotten laid. It isn’t healthy, you know. It makes the invoice maker’s heart ashamed. That’s why I got angry when I discovered you went to Excess without me, ha-ha-ha….”

I asked, smiling, “Why did you break up with her? I know you’re not in love with her, but you said you just want to have a good time and have a good lay. She is a real fuckeree, isn’t she?”

“Oh, Shogo, you can’t imagine how she moves her ass,” he replied reminiscently, “she is the best fucker I’ve gone to bed with in all my life. Really, really, believe me. Having sex with her is amazing, like ascending to God’s mansion. You know, she is a real bitch. I simply loved having sex with her – that’s all, man. I didn’t love her, but I loved her vagina too much; I worshiped her vagina. As a result, I consecrated my prick to her, as Christians offer their sacrifices, ha-ha-ha. The problem is that she never gets enough, you know, that vagina! I fucked her five times whenever I was in bed with her. Five times per night is required if you want to have sex with her. It’s too much, isn’t it? Anyway, she cheated on me many times. I knew she cheated on me and asked her directly without beating about the bush; however, that vagina denied everything and lied to me a million times. And on top of it all, she cheated on me right to my face without batting an eye. I can’t believe women, you know. How could she do that? Five days after breaking up with her, I went to a festival with Luis. There I saw her with a guy, and as soon as she saw me, she started kissing the guy and grabbing his hands in order to let him touch her ass. She wanted to make me jealous – it’s too obvious. Can you beat it? How? Shogo, just five days after breaking up, she kissed another guy. I can’t understand vaginas. For me, I can’t change my feelings so fast. You know, it takes time for me to move on, but, vaginas, they move on very fast as if I didn’t exist to them. Modern women don’t have any conscience and don’t have any decency. They just want to enjoy the moment, my friend, that I am as sure of as God’s sunrise.”

“Ha-ha-ha…. I thought she is very nice person anyway. It had been one of the worst years of my life before coming to Mexico. After coming here, everything is satisfactory with me. Thanks for helping me, my friend. I really appreciate.”

I soothed him with tears of laughter in my eyes, “Okay, okay, Gerardo. Take it easy, man, ha-ha-ha… just let me continue the story. As I said, we were very happy in the morning. We went to Starbucks to have morning coffee, and we talked about our extraordinary lives. And then we went to Chili’s to have lunch. The food was so delicious, by the way. As usual, Jorgito ate too much. He ordered a double fajita and gulped down everything. His stomach must be bottomless, I guess. After the lunch, we went to Antara Polanco to watch a movie. We watched Avatar, which happened to be a wonderful movie. You must watch it, Gerardo. Anyway, after watching it, we decided to go home, but while we were on the way home, Jorgito suddenly looked toward heaven as if he had gotten divine inspiration and said, ‘Shogo, I am so happy today. Everything was so nice, nice talking at Starbucks, nice food at Chili’s, and the nice movie. I like Avatar so much. Listen, Shogo, the angels of heaven whispered to my right ear just before – they suggested we go to Excess right now so that we’ll have the perfect ending for our night. What do you think? I am serious. It wasn’t one angel; they were seven of them with singing voices. Trust me, Shogo, God wants us to enjoy tonight at the most.’ And he nodded with a solemn smile. I thought why he has suddenly started acting mysterious? Why didn’t he simply say that he wants to go to Excess tonight? Why does he put a haughty air about him? Anyway, it was good idea to celebrate on our enraptured day at Excess; it was indeed the fantastic idea for our blissful day to be finished with sexy vaginas. Thus, I agreed with him immediately. As soon as he got my concession, he aggressively drove to Excess like a happy lunatic. I never see him driving so wild. You see, that was spontaneous! That’s why I couldn’t invite you.”

He burst out laughing, “Son of bitch, okay, okay, I know what stupid Jorge is like when he gets excited, that idiot! However, you must invite me next time you go to Excess, okay? I really want to go there; I always want to go there to touch beautiful vaginas to my heart’s content, ha-ha-ha…. By the way, did you dance with your sweetheart or find a new vagina?”

“Of course, I danced with Elaine, my friend!” my face is brightened and continued, “it was wild, my friends, so wild indeed, believe me. And Jorgito did a thirty-minute dance with a Hungarian vagina, and he came in his pants just two minutes, ha-ha-ha….”

“What? Stupid Jorge danced thirty minutes? He came in his pants just two minutes? Ha-ha-ha, it’s so quick, no? Oh my God, was he excited? That son of bitch really enjoyed last night without me.”

“Yap,” I nodded. “He enjoyed it too much. I never see him in so happy mood, ha-ha-ha….”

“But how about you? Tell me about Elaine. Are you going out with her? She likes you very much. What happened yesterday? For God’s sake, tell me everything, Shogo.”