One More Drink, Man!

He uttered sarcastically, “Shogo, I have to teach you everything, ha-ha-ha. Anyway, you’re interrupting my story. I just wanted to tell you that fucking Luis didn’t fuck any girls in Cuba, too.”

I was resentful because of Luis’s stupidity and exclaimed, “What? Sissy didn’t want to get laid in Cuba as well! How come? I’ve started considering that he might be gay, you know.”

He was laughing at my remark.

“You’re on the right track, man,” he said affirmatively, “I’ve suspected it for a long time. I believe he is gay. Anyway, I told you that he is inclined to do opposite things from other people; these nights in Cuba, everyone wanted to get laid, so naturally Luis wanted to show us that he, Luis Lopez, is different from mediocrities and doesn’t need such an empty pleasure because he is occupied with more important things, ha-ha-ha. I don’t care about that gay anymore. Let him do whatever his fancy dictates. I wish to Christ that he can leave this earth as a virgin, ha-ha-ha. That is his lot!”

I was getting tired and said, “Let’s go home, my friend. I am a little sleepy. But don’t forget he is your friend, so you should give him another chance, okay? Even if he is gay, he is your best friend, you know.”

His anger was alleviated somewhat, and he was getting drunk. And he started jabbering, “What? You want leave your friend alone here, who still wants to talk with you more, you, selfish son of bitch, ha-ha-ha. But, Shogo, we must go to Cuba, okay? Even if nobody wants to go there, we must go. Who cares if there will be only two of us? The essential thing is that we have to enjoy, you know. In April, perhaps? Wait, man! Fucking Luis wants to be an eternal virgin, pufi! It makes the invoice maker filled with loathing. One more drink, man! Shogo, you can fuck many girls in Cuba, you’ll see. I am really sure that fucking Luis is gay, you know.”



Ignorant of The Politics

Here I couldn’t refrain because my curiosity overwhelmed me. I asked excitedly with a cigarette in my left hand, “But how, man? It’s difficult for me to believe what you’ve just said. Why women are willingly to open their legs? Why is it so easy for us to get laid in Cuba? Give me some explanations to make me understand, Gerardo!”

He gave me an indulgent smile and explained to me joyfully, “Because they are so poor, so naturally they are willingly to offer their vaginas for money. As I told you, you just go to any night club, and as soon as you sit on a sofa, over twenty women will surround you. You can see any kind of women such as blonde, brunette, blue eye, green eyes, tall, short, huge ass, magnificent teats, and so on and so forth. Believe me, Shogo, and they are so beautiful. You have to choose who you want and simply tell her that you want to fuck her tonight – that’s all, man. Of course, you have to pay, but it’s so cheap like twenty or thirty American bucks – that’s nothing, my friend. And they can stay with you all night if you want.”

I had still not been persuaded yet. I was shaking my head, “No, no, I still can’t believe you. Really, my friend? If it’s true, we must go!”

“Of course, my friend, you’ll see, you’ll see. If you go to Cuba, you’ll see every policeman will protect you and support you. They are over generous to foreigners, since this is the Cuban law. Women can’t go to a hotel with foreigners due to the law as well; therefore, we rented a house that time and brought vaginas there. But I’m not sure if they still have the same laws like three years ago. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter what sorts of professions they have, they get paid the almost same salary, you know, it doesn’t matter if he is a policeman, a lawyer, a baker, a banker, a businessman, and so on… because their way of thinking is that everyone should be equal. Cuba is the communist country, you know, the politics. I think as long as Fidel Castro dictates the country, it will remain the same. As a result, we must go to Cuba before the Cuban mustache dies, ha-ha-ha.”

“I didn’t know such things still happen in the world. Maybe, I am a little ignorant of the politics, ha-ha-ha.”


Can You Comprehend That Guy?

“Shogo, I’m not talking about just enjoying dancing with and touching beautiful vaginas; I’m talking about enjoying life. I like to go to Excess with you or my friends because we can talk and have a wonderful time together, you know. I like to go there to enjoy time with my friends, which is the main point; however, fucking Luis doesn’t recognize such sorts of enjoyment obviously. Moreover, you know, it’s very difficult for us to have sex with beautiful women and have a relationship with them. We might have a chance to have a relationship with extremely beautiful women, but it is one out of million in one’s lifetime. Of course, it’s easy for us to have sex with ordinary beauties. What I’m trying to say is that those kinds of places give us fantasy, you know. It’s sometimes good for us to go to Excess to forget everything and just enjoy the moment fully like a child, you know.”

I nodded with bewilderment, “Of course, my friend, you are right. I like to go there not only for dancing, but in order to have fun with my friends. But seriously, why doesn’t Luis want to go to a whore house to enjoy women? I sincerely don’t understand him. Why has he triumphantly protected his virginity since he was born, as if being virgin shined his virtue elegantly? Maybe, only heaven knows why he is extremely stubborn as a mule. It’s not healthy for him to be virgin such a long time, you know. It doesn’t matter if he’s lost his virginity to a whore or an ordinary girl: The essential thing is that he has to enjoy women sometimes.”

He affirmed and cried out, “Exactly, my friend! He has to enjoy women. Son of bitch’s small brain can’t comprehend such kinds of things. Do you know why he always does things opposite from everyone? Because he thinks it’s cool to do opposite things from us – it makes him special and unique. Can you comprehend that guy? For example, we went to Cuba three years ago. We were five people, including fucking Luis. Shogo, you can’t imagine how easy it is to get laid in Cuba. Very easy, man. Just go to any night club, and girls will surround you, waiting to be chosen. I stayed there for three days, and I fucked girls every night. Believe me, it’s a piece of cake. You must go to Cuba because you are in Mexico right now. It’s very cheap to go there. We must go there together, and I assure you that you’ll get laid every night, my friend.”


Twenty-Seven Winters Are Behind Him

“Gerardo, as you said, he had no friends and had been constantly alone, so he might not know how to interact with friends and might not know how to build a friendship because he had been alone till he was twenty-two years old. It was too much to be alone, you know. And despite everything, he is your friend, so why don’t you give him another chance?”

“No, man, I won’t invite him anymore!” he was getting emotional and spit two times on the floor vehemently. And then he said, “Shogo, you don’t know him as I do. Sorry to say, but it is the truth. You know, he always asks me to invite him when I have some plans, but he always does diametrically opposite things from everyone whenever we go out. For instance, he always refuses every time I invite him to go to Excess. Why, man? Only heaven knows what is in this disgusting son of bitch’s head. Everyone likes Excess, and we have to enjoy life, you know. Believe me, he is virgin and has never had single girlfriend in his entire life. Of course, he is shy, and nobody likes his hairy body – he must be the descendant of an orangutan, ha-ha-ha. Shogo, twenty-seven winters are behind him – he is twenty-seven years old now. Can you believe that he is still a virgin and refuses to go to Excess to touch beautiful vaginas? What an asshole! You know, what he said to me once I invited him to Excess – he said he doesn’t want to waste his time and money; those kinds of places have the power to ruin family! Can you believe that hairy prick? I got angry, man.”

“What was your response?”

He lit a cigarette afresh and replied indignantly, “Son of bitch! I said to him right to his face. Those kinds of places even existed in Jesus’ time as well, and Jesus himself let Mary Magdalene wash his feet with her hair – obviously, Jesus had a special affection toward a whore. But fucking Luis wasn’t moved by my words and simply said he didn’t want to become degenerated. What a conceited and obstinate bastard he is! Jesus showed us that even a whore is able to have a pure heart. He hasn’t learned anything from history, that hairy, bespectacled orangutan!”

Why Such Arrogance?

He lit a cigarette and carried on, “You know, Shogo, he couldn’t find a job for nine months, can you believe it? Anyway, I thought he is my friend, so I should help him. In this manner, I talked to my boss about him and begged him to find a position for him. That’s how he got his position. But he doesn’t care about my effort either. He assumes he has excellent qualification for the job and has an excellent ability to fit in the position – that’s why he is being hired. Arrogant son of bitch will never know the truth, pafi! Whenever I ask him for a small favor, he acts insolently. Why such arrogance? I’m asking the small favor as a friend. Just as I’m asking him for one call – that’s all. But alas, fucking Luis has started behaving condescendingly and has never made a call, the same excuse all the time. I don’t understand him. Why the hell does he behave loftily whenever I ask him a small favor? I simply can’t comprehend him. Shogo, in Jesus’ name, please tell me why he’s behaving like this, I beg you? I’ll never invite him anywhere!”

I was astonished by his tirade, because I had never seen him talking so vehemently and aggressively toward someone. I thought that he probably had more reasons to attack him violently, so I decided not to contradict him and replied cautiously in order to know what was bothering his heart.