Just Happy to Be Alive

I came back to the apartment the following night. It was Sunday. I stayed over at Jorgito’s house after the Saturday night fever with him. Gerardo was eating dinner when I came back to the apartment, and as soon as he saw me entering, he asked me without any preliminary, “Shogo, where were you last night?”

“I was with Jorgito. We went to Excess yesterday,” I replied with a mischievous smile.

“Son of bitch! That’s why you look so happy tonight. I knew it. I knew it, man! I called my mum around 11:00 p.m. yesterday – she said you weren’t at the house and went to watch a movie with Jorge. But I didn’t believe it because it was too late for a movie. I assumed you went to Excess. Why didn’t you invite me? Are you my friend?”

“Calm down, Gerardo, ha-ha-ha! Believe me, it wasn’t conspiracy; it was unintentional. We didn’t plan to go to Excess last night. It just happened.”

He was still peeved and blurted, “What? Just happened? How? In heaven’s name, tell me the truth, Shogo. Or do you want me to kick your Japanese flat ass?”

“Ha-ha-ha, Idiot. Let me explain what happened yesterday. Jorgito and I were in an exceptionally appeased mood yesterday from the morning to the night. Our souls were jubilant, so to speak. We were constantly thanking to God for giving us such a wonderful day. Happy songs were constantly coming from our lips. Even the weather was warm, and the mighty sunshine was shining on us although it was winter. We were just happy to be alive – we had worshiped life the whole day, so to speak.”

“Shut up, man! Ha-ha-ha, I don’t need to hear if you were happy or if stupid Jorge was singing – stop talking such bull-shit! Just tell me how you, guys, ended up to Excess!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.

I soothed him with tears of laughter in my eyes, “Okay, okay, Gerardo. Take it easy, man, ha-ha-ha… just let me continue the story. As I said, we were very happy in the morning. We went to Starbucks to have morning coffee, and we talked about our extraordinary lives. And then we went to Chili’s to have lunch. The food was so delicious, by the way. As usual, Jorgito ate too much. He ordered a double fajita and gulped down everything. His stomach must be bottomless, I guess. After the lunch, we went to Antara Polanco to watch a movie. We watched Avatar, which happened to be a wonderful movie. You must watch it, Gerardo. Anyway, after watching it, we decided to go home, but while we were on the way home, Jorgito suddenly looked toward heaven as if he had gotten divine inspiration and said, ‘Shogo, I am so happy today. Everything was so nice, nice talking at Starbucks, nice food at Chili’s, and the nice movie. I like Avatar so much. Listen, Shogo, the angels of heaven whispered to my right ear just before – they suggested we go to Excess right now so that we’ll have the perfect ending for our night. What do you think? I am serious. It wasn’t one angel; they were seven of them with singing voices. Trust me, Shogo, God wants us to enjoy tonight at the most.’ And he nodded with a solemn smile. I thought why he has suddenly started acting mysterious? Why didn’t he simply say that he wants to go to Excess tonight? Why does he put a haughty air about him? Anyway, it was good idea to celebrate on our enraptured day at Excess; it was indeed the fantastic idea for our blissful day to be finished with sexy vaginas. Thus, I agreed with him immediately. As soon as he got my concession, he aggressively drove to Excess like a happy lunatic. I never see him driving so wild. You see, that was spontaneous! That’s why I couldn’t invite you.”

I Like Today Very Much

Here Elaine came. I invited her to drink and talked to her to my heart’s content. I decided to have a fifteen-minute dance with her. After our dance was over, we came back to the table, hand in hand, but Jorgito was not there. While we were chatting about trivial things, he came back to our table as happy as a god. He announced, “Shogo, we have to go right now because it’s been past 2:00 a.m.”

So we said good-bye to Elaine, and I promised to take her out next Tuesday because Tuesday is only her day off. Before we left, she whispered something into his left ear. As soon as we sailed out, I asked him what she said to him.

“Shogo, she is really in love with you. You know what she said? She said to me, ‘Oh, how I love him.’ Oh my God, you are very lucky, man. I saw she kissed you in front of everyone with her eyes closed. You know, it’s prohibited to kiss clients on the main dancing floor, but she didn’t care. You should go out with her.”

“Ha-ha-ha, I know she loves me, and I love her. We’re going out next Tuesday, my friend.”

“Really? Of course, I’m going with you.”

We were coming to the parking which has a little vender selling hamburgers and hotdogs.

“Let’s eat hamburgers, Shogo.”

He ordered hamburgers for us and said with a bright smile, “Shogo, I danced and came in my pants.”

“Ha-ha-ha, you’re joking. Really? You came in your pants? How?”

He tightened his lips and nodded three times, “Yes, Shogo. I came. I came in just two minutes.”

I burst out laughing with tears on my eyes, “Idiot! You came in only two minutes! You are the quickest man alive on this earth, ha-ha-ha. Who’s the lucky girl? Danced only one song?”

“You saw the blond one who has a lascivious ass. She is Hungarian. She knows how to move and how to arouse a man’s lust. I had a thirty-minute dance with her.”

“What? Are you out of your mind? That’s why you were away such a long time? You said you didn’t have money and were constantly worried about the expense. How come? You paid two thousand pesos? What’s happened while I was dancing with Elaine?”

“Nothing special, man. I just asked the Hungarian vagina to come to my table. In fact, we talked a little. As soon as she touched my prick, and I grabbed her huge teats, my erection looked toward heaven. I naturally yelled at a waitress in order to buy a ticket. And we went into the room, hand in hand, you know, in the dark corner.”

“Ha-ha-ha, asshole. Well, I am so glad you enjoyed dancing with her. It was good news, man. I’ve been enjoying everything today, my friend. We had a great day.”

“Yes, I’ve enjoyed so much, too. I like today very much. Everything is great today, and finishing with Excess is the perfect ending. Just perfect. Oh my God, this is very delicious. I love this hamburger very much. This is the best hamburger I’ve ever eaten. Stop laughing, Shogo. It’s true. It’s so delicious. I’m so happy, my friend, although my underwear is in a sorry condition right now, and it gives me an uncomfortable feeling though. Shogo, we have to come back to Excess soon. You know, I don’t have money, but….”