Let’s go to Roppongi!

Then a disturbed face emerged to a roar of delight from the assembled throng. It was Jorgito. As soon as his piercing eyes located on me, he interrogated with a straight face, “Amigo, please tell me the truth. Why stupid Leticia dressed up tonight?”

“Just because I told her that we would go to a night club after the midnight,” I was perplexed.

“Idiot! Why did you tell her about the night adventure?”

“She’s kept asking me to take her to a night club, so I simply let her know we’re going tonight.”

“No, no, no, amigo, you made a stupid mistake,” he was shaking his head disapprovingly and went on, “you don’t know anything about Leticia. She’ll destroy our night adventure. She is a goddamn selfish vagina. If she doesn’t like a place, she’ll pretend to be tired and ask us to go home. The upshot is that she’ll forever ask us to dance with her. If she comes along with us, I can’t talk to pretty vaginas who I intend to meet and make out with tonight. No, amigo, this is your fucking fault. You must tell her that we’ve changed our plan and felt too exhausted, so we can’t go out tonight.”

Here Gerardo broke in with a downbeat objection, “Son of bitch, did you invite the spoiled vagina? Jorge is right; you must tell her that we’ve changed our plan. I refuse to be jeopardized our night adventure. Look, Shogo, she always wants to have all attention to her, you know, so if she comes with us, we’ll be constantly forced to talk with her and take care of her. Furthermore, when she doesn’t enjoy a place, and nobody gives any shit to her, she’ll threaten us to take her back to the hotel. I’m telling you this from my experiences. I’ve witnessed her annoying selfish-acts so many times. No, man, we can’t take her with us. Trust me, my friend, she’ll ruin our happy night adventure. At any rate, you must ditch her, so that we can accomplish our night business.”

Consequently, I made a lame excuse to their parents and Leticia and took them to Seibu-Shinjuku Station. As we arrived at the station and said good-bye to them, Leticia was yelling at the top of her voice, “Shogo, you are a big lair!”

I felt a wee bit sorry for her. However, I just did what I must have done for the sake of our night undertaking and was glad that I ditched her successfully. Gerardo and Jorgito were over the moon about getting rid of her beautifully and shouted enthusiastically, “Let’s go to Roppongi!”


I Need A New Idea, But Not This Bull-Shit Movement.

Gerardo wanted to spend the coming New Year in Sibuya, so we said good-bye to Odaiba and left with ebullience. As we arrived at Hachiko Square, a great number of people were waiting for celebrating on coming New Year. The whole place was literally packed with excited mobs, and we were not able to march on freely. The police was announcing, “Tonight there will be no ceremony and no exhibition on the digital screen, so just leave the place.”

Gerardo, Jorgito, their parents, and Leticia were too excited about the anticipation for spending the moment of coming New Year in Japan. When the clock struck on twelve sharp, everyone was jumping around, hugging each other, and shouting, “Happy New Year” to each other. Only Leticia was capering around under the Japanese winter sky, like a blissful female ass.

To our great astonishment, a group of intoxicated Japanese were waving a cardboard that was written, “Free Hug.” And it must have offended Gerardo’s eyes, since as soon as he saw the sign, he uttered in an irritated voice, “I hate the stupid free hug movement. Shogo, do you know that this idiotic movement has started from England? Even Japanese are shouting, ‘Free Hug!’ Oh, come on, I need a new idea, but not this bull-shit movement. I’m bored to death by the lack of imagination. I’m wondering whether a group of oddballs are bold enough to start a totally unprecedented movement someday, you know, thoroughly original and unique. Let’s say, ‘Free Bang.’ Please surprise me, Gerardo Veloz!”

A Scandalous Statue

The following morning, everyone was energized due to the last day of the year. We had a busy schedule ahead of us. First of all, we went to Shinjuku, because Jorgito and Leticia wanted to go to Takashimaya for shopping. Jorgito was extremely happy, since he bought an elegant black coat and expensive wallet. I knew why he bought the coat – he wanted to show his best attire at a night adventure. We, three of us, were planning to invade Roppongi for the opening of New Year.

And then we went to Odaiba. We sauntered around Odaiba Seaside Park. It is a nice spot to stroll with a magnificent ocean view that I admit, but not a scandalous statue. In point of fact, the park contains copy of the Statue of Liberty, apparently not everyone’s idea of good taste, but humiliatingly popular with birdbrained Japanese. As soon as Gerardo saw the ignominy statue, he stood aghast at the sight of the disgraceful object and announced a strong aversion, “Golly, what the hell is that? I can’t believe in my own eyes that Japanese assholes built the fake Statue of Liberty! Shogo, look at Japanese couples over there who are delightfully taking pictures! For the love of God, please assure me that it is just a bad dream. But I’m not sure, man, Japanese couples seem really happy to take pictures and look like half-witted Homo sapiens. It’s the most preposterous statue that my eyes have ever laid on in my whole life. I absolutely hate the half-baked statue!”

We were continuing to wander over Odaiba. We went to Palette Town and hopped into Daikanransha, which is famous for one of the world’s largest Ferris wheel. After we contemplated the beautiful night view from Daikanransha, we set off to Toyota MEGA WEB, where we enjoyed driving E-com Ride. And from there, we went to Decks Tokyo Beach to eat dinner with an ocean view. Leticia was undoubtedly pleased whole day and gave us an incongruous speech over the dinner.


We’re All Brothers

I was so mad at Japanese bastards who have still discriminated foreigners and ashamed of my fellow countrymen’s cold blood attitude toward foreigners. I was very sorry for Gerardo and Jorgito, for they could not enjoy their vacation to the maximum. I had never expected that Japanese jackasses would insolently reject my friends to enter the whorehouse. “When will Japanese realize that we are all human beings although people have different nationalities? They must stop discriminating foreigners and stop embarrassing themselves by showing off their ignorance,” I thought scornfully.

Jorgito was walking on the street to and fro pensively with his hands in his pockets. He looked at me appealingly and went on, “Amigo, remember when we were in Acapulco? We went to a strip club, and you fell in love with a Mexican vagina. You wanted to sleep with her, and she could not speak any English. However, I talked to her, and she let you to bang her. You know, we’re very open. We don’t care where you hail from, for we know in our hearts that we’re all brothers. We welcome everyone who wants to enjoy our fatherland that is able to offer. But alas, fucking Japanese have discriminated us in the right our faces. I still don’t fathom and will never be okay with such a godawful assailment!”

We felt famished and weary out due to another unfruitful night adventure. Thereupon, we decided to eat something. Gerardo wanted to eat Japanese style noodle, so we went to a nice noodle shop. It was around half past twelve when we finished our late supper. We were dejected and drained with body and soul; therefore, we decided to catch a train to go home. As we came to Seibu-Shinjuku Station, another afflicted realty was waiting for us: the last train was long gone. I admitted that it was inexcusably my fault, because I was totally forgot that it was Sunday.

We didn’t have any choice, but simply took a cab. When we came back to Tokorozawa, we paid fifteen thousand Japanese yen to a driver. As we got off the cab, Jorgito was too exhausted to make any complaints but not Gerardo Veloz. He grunted, “Son of bitch! You introduced us the dampest whorehouse in the world, and you made us receive the insult in public. And on top of it all, you made us to pay too much money just for a ride! It’s too much, it’s goddamn too much, my friend. In Mexico riding a cab is very cheap. As a matter of fact, we just need to pay three hundred pesos for the same distant ride. Listen to me carefully, son of bitch, if you ever take us to a doltish place and ask us to pay extravagant price for a ride, I’ll kick your flat Japanese ass with a brute force. Understood? Please ever, ever make me to kick your ass, ha-ha- ha….”


No Sir! We Need to Act

As soon as we hit the street, I explained the frivolous situation down to the last details without omitting anything to them. Gerardo and Jorgito were outraged. I tried to soothe them, but they were resented in the highest degree and did not give their ears to me. Finally, Jorgito could not refrain from bursting into rage and snatched the opprobrium, “Shogo, I was unforgivably insulted! I’m feeling like being spanked in public. To be candid with you, I’ve never been offended like this in all my life. Son of bitch is discriminating us, you know. It’s absolute discrimination without any excuses. I can’t believe that this is happening to us!”

He spat on the street menacingly and carried on his tirade, “Why, Shogo? Why? For Virgin Mary’s sake, tell me, man, why can’t we be allowed to have fun at the stupid whorehouse? Because we can’t speak Japanese? Who the hell cares about a fucking communication? Do we need to have a communication for fornicating? No sir! We need to act. We can fornicate without speaking! And also even if I can’t speak Japanese, I’ll understand everything from a whore’s gestures and expressions.”

“Of course, man!” Gerardo chimed in exasperatedly, “we can understand everything. I’m so offended, too. Shogo, we just want to have a good lay, you know, we don’t need to have a fucking communication. Why the hell do we need to speak goddamn Japanese? I think son of bitch was just making excuses, you know…. They just didn’t want Mexicans to bang their whores!”