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Working for a company exactly the same pretenses are required. I should: pretend to obey every single nonsense that my supervisor says; pretend to do what I am sick of; pretend to talk with my colleagues about how to improve job environments; pretend to make a smile when I want to cry with humiliation; pretend to be doing something when in fact, I am doing nothing, because in Japan even if you have nothing to do at an office, you have to pretend to keep occupied with something, otherwise, your boss is going to scowl at you for doing nothing; etc. I just do not want to pretend to be someone else anymore, but it is impossible for me as long as I stay in Japan.
Why do I have to pretend? It is very easy, money. I have never comprehended the meaning of money because it seems just a piece of paper to me. If I do not have money, I cannot do anything, because people always ask for it when I ask them small favors. The society system is wrong from the beginning, because every single human being must depend on money if he wants to live. Because of money, I have to pretend so that I can get a job to earn it. Because of money, I have to pretend to agree with my supervisor all the time so that I get paid. Because of money, I am humiliated, nervous, depressed, frustrated, vexed, insulted, melancholic, dispirited, anxious, distressed, agitated, etc. Money makes people crazy. Because of money, people make wars; because of money people kill each other; because of money, women become prostitutes; because of money, people betray each other; because of money, people are suffering and hungry. Every negative thing that has happened to the world so far stems from money. Once I thought that I would have to help people and try to fight against the society system, but people are so ignorant. If I fight against evil, it will be something worthwhile, but if I fight against stupidity, it will be helpless. I have shifted my aim swiftly and have tried to rescue only myself from nonsense, but my helpless tribulations have still not let me go and been gripping my neck firmly.