It was past 5:00 a.m. when we came back to the apartment. We agreed that Esteban would have to go out with Chilean cunt, for Ramon could not skip his job which would bring a total catastrophe to his marriage; I would busy studying publishing offers. Esteban was happy with the final decision and swore us that he would boink her on a white sand tomorrow, with a music of seagulls. And then we sneaked into the apartment by holding breath like a thief.
I thought that I must liberate myself from where I do not want to belong and what I do not want to become all by myself. I thought that nobody could help me to become liberated, and nobody could help me to become who I truly am, because I thought that it was my own fight and thought that I must overcome my weakness by myself. I have to confess that I underestimated my friends and could not know that my friends have the power to change my life. I had struggled in vain for writing for over nine years, since I was too blind to be able to see the truth: I was obsessed with writing. When I realized that the process of liberation from my doubts needed the final touch, sharing my mission with my friends, everything became crystal clear to me, and I have become a writer. I have learned from them that I do not have to be alone to fight for my life. Now I have the invincible alliances to fight for my life, and I am glad to have them along to the road as I follow my destiny.
He lit his cigarette afresh and carried on, “Shogo, your life has changed a great deal since you came to Mexico. Now you are unshakably on the way to your destiny. You wake up every morning with glorious purpose and are becoming surer of yourself, day by day. You know, Shogo, I want to be like you. I want to wake up each morning with effervescence. The problem is that I hate what I am doing and don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am an eternal businessman. I want to find out what I really want to do from the bottom of my heart like you. I want to change my life. What should I do to realize my destiny?”
I looked at his eyes sympathetically and replied, “My friend, I want to help you, and I’ll do everything for you when you need some help, but not this one. I am afraid to say, I can’t help you. In fact, nobody can help you, for you must realize what you want to do for the rest of your life by yourself. This is your task. Nobody can possibly help you with it, but only you yourself can help because this already exists inside your heart. You haven’t had enough courage to look at it candidly. Gerardo, you’d better start talking to your heart in earnest.”
I tell you, my fellow Japanese, losing your dignity and life over money is the worst lame excuse to defend yourselves. I know what you are. If you contemplate your hysterical daily activities seriously, you will realize that you sweat for nothing except money. And then you will have no choice, but end up in a mental asylum or commit suicide. Consequently, you keep on continuing the same daily routine blindly, without questioning anything, so that you should not happen to stumble on the truth accidentally. Your cowardly attitudes toward life make me abashed. I tell you, having money without life is nothing. Life is just not earning money; life is more than that. Life is immense and consistently full of enjoyment and surprises.
I tell you, my fellow Japanese, the meaning of life is not working five days a week until you become decrepit, nor keeping on earning money till death, nor pretending to be someone else for the sake of earning money till the dying day. In my humble opinion, the meaning of life is realizing who you truly are, doing every day what your heart desires, and enjoying just being alive. Above all, making friends is the most essential one. Even though I have still been seeking for the meaning of life myself, I ought to force even you to comprehend that I am close to the truth. If you will not start enjoying your life and will not try to figure out who you truly are, you are dangerously wasting your limited time on this delightful earth.
If you still have ears, listen to me, my fellow Japanese, if you still have ounce of pride left, you ought to start examining whether your hectic daily activities produce any joy and whether your attitudes toward life produce any enthusiasms every day. If you do, you will understand what I am trying to say here. I give you a clue of how to start changing your life. Try to find what your inner voice tells you, try to find what you want to do for the rest of your life, and try to believe in your unique personality. Enjoying your life every day is the starting point for you. If you do not know how to enjoy life, just halt your meaningless daily activities and take a vacation to visit Mexico. Mighty sunshine will welcome you, and you will find a peace at your heart. Mexicans are experts at enjoying life since it is in their blood. In addition, they are willing to teach you how to enjoy life. Do not be shy, just come to Mexico to learn how to enjoy life from them, my fellow Japanese.
Maybe, Japan is a rich country, and everything is organized perfectly more than in Mexico; however, it does not matter whether the trains always come on time; it does not matter whether streets are constructed smoothly and gracefully; it does not matter whether the skyscrapers proudly stand everywhere, etc. Those things are nugatory. These kinds of material successes only show us cold feelings without enthusiasm for life. Japanese work every day like machines without questioning anything for the sake of earning money. Maybe, they can earn enough money to support their family; maybe, Japan offers more job opportunities, and Japanese can find a job easily more than Mexicans in Mexico; maybe, Japanese way of life is more secure than Mexicans, but what a price they have to pay!
They have no pride to show their true emotions, but they always bow down to their boss, like a good trained dog offering its head to be patted, so that they can get monthly salary. They think that obeying their boss blindly without any questions is a virtue. Whenever they see a Japanese young man who listens to his boss obediently and bows to him with several polite words, they praise him to the heaven, “The young man knows how to behave correctly in Japanese society, he must know his own place, his future is bright, he’ll be a successful businessman,” and so on and so forth. What a sheer delusion! Don’t they have any shame for themselves? Don’t they realize what nonsense they are talking about? What a resigned attitude this seems to me. They had better contemplate their involuntary resignation way of life seriously before it is too late. Making money might be more important than anything else for them, but losing their dignity for the sake of earning money and calling it the correct behavior for a mature person are the worst crimes that human beings have invented under the sun. What is the meaning of money? Is money everything for human life? I do not think so.