What a Disgrace!

The following day, I went to the job interview. Tani san and Ishida san were my interviewers. Tani san was from the head-quarter office, and Ishida san would be my future boss. I vividly remember my first impression about my boss. He was as thin as a matchstick and had a face as long as a fiddle. And on top of it all, a queer aura was about him that only a virgin can possess. At the first glance, one thing was as transparent as dawn coming from east to me that he was the type of a guy who has been masturbating in all his life. He had a quality, you know, he definitely had a quality that only a virgin is able to produce. I was thinking to myself, “Dear me, I have to work under the thirty years old virgin! What a disgrace!”

The interview was having at the main floor of the building where some chairs and tables were arranged. As soon as we greeted each other, they started explaining me what my future tasks would be. I was told that I would be working on the tenth floor of this building at where a British law firm was located. I would be assigned to work at a general office. The main task for me was that I would copy legal documents, sort mails, and help lawyers. “It’s a sort of job that one can do without brains. It’ll be convenient for me to take this trivial job, so that I’ll have enough energy to study after work,” I nodded to myself.

Tani san suddenly switched a language and asked me in English if I could speak well English, since the law firm has many foreign lawyers, and English would be the essential tool to communicate with them. Moreover, she told me that four people were working at the general office right now, but none of them could speak well English, including Ishida san, who pompously proclaimed to be able to speak five different languages, notwithstanding in all his life he had been only to America for two months. As a result, she was looking for a person who spoke well English.

After I demonstrated my English, they become speechless and asked me to come to the office the next Monday to start working. It was quickly settled as if devil intentionally put me into the horrendous pit.

If I had known that I would have worked with meanest bastards walking on two legs under the sun, I would have free from doubt declined the offer. However, I had no idea at that moment that I would allow myself to be jumping into the center of the abominable fire.

In point of fact, it did not take much time for me to understand my colleagues’ characters; on the contrary, they were too much generous and free to show off their meanness from the beginning.

The Most Embarrassing Task under the Sun

It was the end of September, and I was as poor as a church mouse. I even hesitated to enter a cafe to have fresh coffee. To tell the truth, my state of poverty was pretty scandal. As a result, I had reached the conclusion: I had no choice – I had to put myself into a humiliating position, namely, taking a pathetic job again. I was supposed to go back to Vancouver to start writing a book a year ago, but I still did not know how to escape form the inferno. I was feeling that I had to do something to change my abortive circumstances before I was knocking my head to a wall like a lost freak.

The most imperative task for the desperate undertaking was that I must have looked for the most insignificant job, which was available, so that my mind would be free all the time to think. Thinking and improving myself were the two top priorities at that moment. I could not waste my brain to think about a stupid job, so I needed a job without wearing my brain out. In addition, I would have to have enough energy left to study my favourite books with full attention after work. With that in my mind, I had inaugurated the most embarrassing task under the sun: looking for a job.

Twenty minutes after searching for a job on internet, I found an unimportant position that Williams Lea Japan had posted. I called the company, and they wanted to have a job interview with me right away. And also, they explained me that the interview was not getting held at their headquarter office; it was getting held at Meiji Yasuda Building, where I would be supposed to work. Thereupon, I decided to have the job interview with full of morbid aspect at my heart. From that moment on everything was getting so fast, and things were just out of my control.

My Inferno Period

Strindberg had suffered from his imaginary persecutors and created his punishment apropos of nothing. He called it, his inferno period. On the other hand, my inferno was real, and my persecutors were the worst niggardly creatures walking on two legs under the sun. Strindberg’s inferno period was in France; my inferno period was in Japan. I was destined to endure four years-nightmare, so that I can show the world how corrupted Japanese work environments are and how degraded Japanese have reached. God has given me the precarious mission to reveal Japanese churlishness to the world, and I obey Him like a humble servant. Thus, I hereby open my shameful wounds. Here we go!

It was on the middle of December 2007 at Tokyo. I had been tormented by the meanest colleagues, that the world had ever produced yet. 

I was heading to Tokyo Station, and violent gust of wind was constantly blowing on my face in order to remind me that I was in purgatory. Wintery blast chilled me to the marrow. It was a second years of my inferno period – I was hopelessly dejected.  Every time I saw gusty skyscrapers, the bitter loathsome feeling gnawed at my heart. While I was walking on a street of sorrow with my head down, my heart was screaming, “How long? Ah Load, how long do I have to endure my colleagues’ meanness?”  I had to witness their wicked acts every single day at an office. In fact, I was almost reaching at the end of my tether.

I decided to go to a café to warm up myself before catching a train. After I ordered coffee, I found a table at the lugubrious corner and collapsed on a chair. I was exhausted body and soul. “I had better quit this goddamn job before I am crashed to pulp,” I thought lamentably. I was enervated to be recalling how I let myself put into the shameful state of affairs. It had started a half and two months ago….

I Become a Human Being Again

It is past 9:00 p.m. and the time for me to resume writing. I bid good night to Jorgito with an amiable handshake and promise him that I will never reveal his dishonour to anyone. And I walk out the office.

As I hit the street, the sky is already dark with twinkling stars. I walk on the streets leisurely with my hands in my pockets. When I come to the middle of the bridge, I halt, so that I can take a good look at the highway and night views. From here I can see the illuminating buildings and starry night sky. It is one of my favourite spots to brood over, looking at cars wheeling-by. The night is quite warm. Cool breeze is caressing my cheeks. I am lapsing into reverie. What Jorgito said is indeed true. When he was a slave, he constantly complained about his boss and constantly got stressed out. At that time, his illness was worse, and he was worried about his rectal bleeding at no end. However, he is now in his own way and doing what he loves, somehow his condition of the illness is getting better. On top of it all, he looks happier by comparing to three years ago when he visited Japan. At that moment, I had spent one of my miserable periods in my life there to boot. I was constantly depressed and stressed out because of my ashamed job and unimaginable mean colleagues. I had forever suffered from their meanness and churlish behaviour. The work environment made my illness unbearable, that I have no doubt. However, like Jorgito, I am now doing what I love every day, I am far away from Japan and mean colleagues, and I am happy by surrounding with my friends in Mexico, my illness has been getting better magically as if I had never suffered from it. I still cannot forgive my diabolical colleagues for showing me unpardonable wickedness and making me yell at the top of my lungs in the public from desperation, “I am a shit man!” Whenever I think of Japanese meanness and devil-may-care demeanour, my blood is boiled by rage, and a revolting shudder shoots through my whole being.

When I turn back to look at the past, I think how much time has been wasted, how much of it has been lost misdirected efforts, mistakes, and idleness, in living in the wrong way; and, however I treasured life, how much I sinned against my heart and spirit – my heart bleeds now as I think of it. Life is a gift, life is happiness, each minute could be an eternity of bliss.

I am looking at the celestial sphere with eternal reverence, and I am thanking God for being born under the lucky stars and for sending me wonderful friends into my life. I am relieved and gratified that I am in Mexico; not in Japan. I am heading back to the apartment slowly and jovially with a full of grace in my heart. Far away from my own country, I become a human being again. I have finally started living my life to the fullest despite of fact that I should have started it for a long time ago.

Please Stop Worrying

After Gerardo enjoyed reading my tragedy thoroughly, he wrote me back: 

Ha-ha-ha…  My friend, I tell you that your e-mail was extremely funny (well, just for me), because I guessed that it was not funny for you; you were very desperate when you wrote it. I wish that your stomach condition will be better soon.

Well, I have an appointment with my doctor on the coming Monday. I feel much better now; however, most of days I have fucking diarrhea. I do not know why I have fucking diarrhea all the time. Maybe, because of alcohol or spicy food, but I am not sure. I absolutely understood the trepidation when you said that you are afraid of going out, because you do not know whether you might be going to shit in your pants. Really, trust me, my friend – I have been there and in your shoes countless times. It is horrible when you cannot hold a caca. Once out of desperation, I started yelling at Almighty Lord in heaven, “Lord, why did you choose me over other billion people? Why did you particularly choose an innocent Mexican boy? I have to go to work, so stop this unpleasant sensation on my stomach in this right instance. Please I beg thee!” But He never answers my prayer as He ignores yours.

Anyway, why did your intestine get inflammation? As I know, you neither eat spicy food nor drink a lot. I think that your meals are good, and you always eat very healthy food. Perhaps, tobacco causes your illness, since you smoke a lot as me. Or perhaps, Japanese atmosphere causes your illness. Maybe, you are stressed out. You should leave Japan for good as soon as possible, man, ha-ha-ha…

My friend, you cannot bang girls anymore, ha-ha-ha…. Oh my God, what a shame! Because when you start banging a girl, you might get the unpleasant sensation on your intestine and might get UC attack. And the worst situation is that you might scatter shit all over a bed while you are banging a girl aggressively. So, you will be virgin again for a very long time, ha-ha-ha. I do not think that you can survive without banging though.

All joking aside, stop worrying, my friend. It is in your mind. I think that you are always afraid of shitting and constantly think about a bathroom which make your illness worse. I really think that it is a kind of psychological problem. For that reason, please stop thinking about your illness and try to think about something else. I assure you, my friend, that this is in your head. You will be fine, so please stop worrying. Take all the medicines that the doctor has prescribed for you and try to stop smoking. Well, Mr. King of shit, ha-ha-ha…. Take great care of yourself and good luck to your stomach.

Mr. King of Fornication

Gerardo Casanova