Why Don’t You See the World?

Here Mr. Yano starts realizing that we have not ordered food yet. He apologizes me for talking too much before ordering anything, “What do you want to order, Mr. Onoe?”

“I’ll order katsu-curry and coke.”

“Excuse me, I would like to have sukiyaki-don and green tea, and katsu-curry and coke for him.”

“You know, Mr. Onoe, I’ve never been any countries and have only known of Japan in all my life. I’m just wondering what the other parts of world are like. I don’t think the other countries that are as lifeless as Japan. I want to go to Canada someday, because many people tell me that Canada is very beautiful and free country. You told me that you’ve been in Canada for several years. What do you think? Should I go to Canada?”

“Mr. Yano, I’ve been knocked about the world a wee bit, but Vancouver is the most beautiful city I’ve ever been to in my adventures. If you go there, you will feel that people are so friendly, not tense all the time like Japanese always are, not rushing everything like Japanese always do, but taking time to do something. Vancouver has a lot of beautiful sceneries that you’ll love, for sure. I really recommend you should go there someday so that you can see a different life. Life is one time, Mr. Yano, why don’t you see the world?”

I’m a Human Being

As soon as we arrive at Jonathan’s, he starts confessing me, “I don’t understand the way of Japanese life. It doesn’t make any sense to me. As I told you before, I didn’t look for any permanent job after my graduation, because I didn’t want to participate in Japanese nonsense age structural society. I don’t understand why I have to respect and use polite words for a person who just happens to be a year older than me. It’s crazy – it also corrupts Japanese because most Japanese are nobody. It’s very sad fate to be born as Japanese, indeed. I guess nobody respects ordinary Japanese because they are nonentities. Consequently, they invented the age structural society so that older people are respected by younger people. In doing so, they feel important among themselves and no longer feel useless. They always want to be respected because of their insignificant existences, so immediately they meet a person who is just a year younger than themselves, they become arrogant and behave condescendingly as if they knew everything under the sun and as if they were better than him. It’s so ridiculous to me, you know, Mr. Onoe, as soon as they know they are older than me, they completely change their attitude toward me and even their way of language. At the first, they talk to me with polite language because they don’t know how old I am, but as soon as they discover they are older than me, they start looking down on me. That’s why I didn’t want to work for a company where the situation is worse. As an employee, I can’t say anything on my mind to my boss, but just obey what my boss says even if my boss orders me to do total nonsense and gives me a boring joke – I have to obey and pretend to laugh at ridiculously boring jokes which make me suffer a lot. However, my colleagues seem not to care as long as they are paid. It seems to me that they are not human beings, but just a bunch of money mongers. I sometimes wonder if they have any feelings and pride. I’m a human being, Mr. Onoe; it doesn’t suit me because I am not a machine and have feelings. I can’t work like a robot –”

I Survived Today!

Thank God! Job is over! I survived today! Light as a bird I am skipping on my way to Sibuya Station to catch a train. It is as though I had been released from a prison. But soon enough, the sight of crowded people that make me irritated and disgusted diminishes my high spirit. I can see only exhausted people’s faces, traffic jams, and grotesque skyscrapers. While crossing a bridge, I hear someone calling my name over my shoulder, “Mr. Onoe, are you going home?”

“Yes, Mr. Yano, I am exhausted emotionally. How about you?”

“No, I am looking for you because I want to have a word with you. I always want to talk with you, but I never have an opportunity to talk with you after work. You seem anxious to me whenever the finishing time approaches, and as soon as working hours are over, you sneak out of the office like a fugitive.”

“Ha-ha-ha, you are a funny guy, Mr. Yano. But I can’t bear the office’s atmosphere. You know we have a bunch of idiots –”

“Mr. Onoe, I admire you so much because you always tell the truth. Yes, our office has a bunch of idiots, I admit. By the way, Ms.Yamada always yells at you, but you seem not to care about anything and work as if nothing happened. It seems to me that you are always on your own way. It’s a rare character among Japanese, Mr. Onoe. Are you hungry? Can I invite you to dinner? Can you spare your precious time with me? I know a number of books are waiting to be studied at your home, because you are a serious man with literature at your heart, but I really need to talk with you.”

“Sure, Mr. Yano. Let’s eat something delicious.”

“I don’t have enough money to invite you to an expensive restaurant, but I know a place where we can eat delicious food cheaply.”

Mr. Yano is my only colleague with whom I let myself talk. He is twenty-four years old and has a lot of curiosity about life. He graduated from Tokyo University a year ago, but he did not look for a permanent position, because he could not see any sense working for a Japanese company and thought that it is an insane idea for him to work under the Japanese working conditions. Instead of like other graduates who look for opportunities to have a permanent job, he took a part-time job to have a time to think about his future for a while. But the problem was that he could not earn enough money to support himself, so he reluctantly decided to work for Benefit One.

Money Makes People Crazy

Why do I have to pretend? It is very easy, money. I have never comprehended the meaning of money because it seems just a piece of paper to me. If I do not have money, I cannot do anything, because people always ask for it when I ask them small favors. The society system is wrong from the beginning, because every single human being must depend on money if he wants to live. Because of money, I have to pretend so that I can get a job to earn it. Because of money, I have to pretend to agree with my supervisor all the time so that I get paid. Because of money, I am humiliated, nervous, depressed, frustrated, vexed, insulted, melancholic, dispirited, anxious, distressed, agitated, etc. Money makes people crazy. Because of money, people make wars; because of money people kill each other; because of money, women become prostitutes; because of money, people betray each other; because of money, people are suffering and hungry. Every negative thing that has happened to the world so far stems from money. Once I thought that I would have to help people and try to fight against the society system, but people are so ignorant. If I fight against evil, it will be something worthwhile, but if I fight against stupidity, it will be helpless. I have shifted my aim swiftly and have tried to rescue only myself from nonsense, but my helpless tribulations have still not let me go and been gripping my neck firmly.

Do Not Want to Pretend to Be Someone Else Anymore

I just do not want to pretend to be someone else; I just want to be who I truly am every single day. However, it is so difficult for me to be true to myself because of the Japanese society system. If I decide to be true myself, I am perfectly sure that I will be fired immediately, and I cannot find a job anywhere. To get a job in Japan, I have to pretend to be someone else during a job interview and tell what they want to hear, but I do not believe any single word I utter, which is torture to me. It makes me unbearably nauseated to say what I do not believe whenever I get a job interview; however, I have to if I want to get a job.

Working for a company exactly the same pretenses are required. I should: pretend to obey every single nonsense that my supervisor says; pretend to do what I am sick of; pretend to talk with my colleagues about how to improve job environments; pretend to make a smile when I want to cry with humiliation; pretend to be doing something when in fact, I am doing nothing, because in Japan even if you have nothing to do at an office, you have to pretend to keep occupied with something, otherwise, your boss is going to scowl at you for doing nothing; etc. I just do not want to pretend to be someone else anymore, but it is impossible for me as long as I stay in Japan.