What Have You Done to Me?

I perfectly understand when Jorgito said that it was impossible for him to hold it. It is indeed true; it is just impossible, because when you get UC attack, you cannot control your bowel movement; you can do only one thing, surrender. I remember when I got a terrible UC attack and wrote to let Gerardo know about the opprobrious misadventure. At that time, Jorgito was as healthy as a spring chicken and had not had ulcerative colitis yet. Gerardo was worried about his stomach then:

Dear friend,

How do you feel about your stomach? I hope it does not distract you too much. I went to the hospital yesterday. The doctor told me that my intestine has inflammation that causes the rectal bleeding – that is why I cannot hold shit. That is the reason for going to a bathroom countless times a day, as if I were not a human being but an animal. And also, he told me that the exact cause of ulcerative colitis has still not been discovered yet: How can people get it, where it comes from, and how to cure it, and so on and so forth. Therefore, he cannot cure the illness completely, but he can keep my stomach in good condition with pills. Furthermore, my doctor told me that I will have to see him frequently, and perhaps I will have to keep on taking pills for next ten years. I suppose that I should see if pills can relieve the inflammation or if they can keep good condition on my stomach.

Only God knows how long I have to suffer from obsessing with shit and a bathroom. I thought that I could return my job from this Sunday on, but today I am not sure although my stomach has become little good to compare to the previous state. But alas, please listen to a poor orphan, my friend, I will tell you a horror that I have experienced this morning. Today I ate breakfast and let myself relax about an hour, because I was afraid if I went out soon, I would definitely want to go to a bathroom. Thus, I went out with good care, but alas, after forty minutes, suddenly, I got a strong seize in my stomach and immediately realized that it was UC attack, so I was frantically looking for a bathroom and dashing on a street at the top speed, like a man just grasping a missile landing toward him, but it was too strong urge, man! It was too forceful, like a tsunami which is impossible to stop, and shit came out like toothpaste. My friend, I was so humiliated and ashamed on myself; I could not hold it, which literally scattered in my pants. I eventually surrendered to such a horror as a raped woman, went to a bathroom as a vanquished warrior, silently washed, and whipped my underwear and pants as a devoted monk, so that I would go home to perform ablution.

After emerging from the bathroom, suddenly, an indescribable rage assailed me. I looked at heaven, made a most disdainful grimace on my face, that any human beings have not showed yet, crooked my left middle finger, raised it heavenward, and shouted at the top of my voice in the public in English, “Why Father, heavenly Father! What have you done to me? Do you want to punish me? Is it not enough that I am sent back to my prison and stay in Japan which has caused me so much distressed and made me depressed occasionally? Haven’t you heard of mercy? Why do I have to suffer from the most stupid thing on this earth every single day, that prevents me from doing anything?  But shit, shit, shit, shit… damn it! Hey, heavenly Father, I will give you final notice before abandoning you! If you cannot rescue me from this miserable situation immediately, I will renounce you, I fully mean it!” And then I performed the most sacrilegious dance on the street like a native Indian and shouted, “I am a shit man! Do you hear? I am a shit man!” Then I went home as if nothing happened.

Gerardo, what do you think? I tell you that it is so ridiculous for a man to occupy his thought with a bathroom and shit all the time. Let me visualize you with some examples: what every victim of ulcerative colitis thinks first when he wakes up is that if he wants to take a caca. And then he eats breakfast and is worried if he is okay to go out, because he might be soon to get UC attack to look for a bathroom on a middle of his destination where he might not find a bathroom nearby. He is worried about if he can eat outside, because he might want to go to a bathroom immediately, even during a meal. He is worried about if he can take a train, because he might want to go to a bathroom on the middle of ridding that is impossible for him to go to a bathroom. The worst possible situation you can think of is that when he gets UC attack on a train, he knows that he cannot prevent from the disaster, since it is like an avalanche which no one can stop, even Almighty God, so to speak. He knows that if he goes out, he cannot have any pleasure, because he is always afraid of shitting and knows beforehand that he will get only shame and disgrace. I think that this is a very serious problem. Moreover, I enlighten you that ulcerative colitis is the most miserable and humiliated illness for human beings to be afflicted on the face of earth; therefore, please tell me how you would feel if you were in my shoes? And also tell me what your doctor will say, and if he knows how to cure ulcerative colitis when you see him. I am desperate, man! Please report back to me as soon as possible.

Give you a strong handshake with you in my thought. May God protect our stomachs from shitting, amen!

Japanese shit brother,
Shogo the disgrace

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