I Am Really Sorry for Her

To my great astonishment, two big tears were trickling down his cheek. He cried out with distress, “I have no doubt she slept with the bastard that night. Can you believe it? How could she do it after having had a heart-to-heart talk with me?”

He continued with moistened eyes while scratching his head like a wounded lion, “I’m very sure. Don’t say anything, my friend. Just listen to me because I know what I’m talking about. I felt so stupid, you know, in fact, I considered breaking up with Jessica for her. Not at all, my friend, after she broke up with her boyfriend, she kept on bringing guys to the apartment, I mean different guys every time. Can the slut be allowed to continue defiling this pure earth by her touch? She’s always changing guys. I know she is a lonely person, but it’s too much, you know, changing men every day as if they were her dirty panties. I didn’t know she is a slut. I don’t presume she is fucking every guy whom she’s brought to the apartment, but I just can’t believe the fact. I thought she was different. I’m not angry with her, and I don’t have any grudge for her. I’m simply disappointed in her enormously. Shogo, you should know nowadays, it is almost impossible for us to find a pure woman, because most of them are bitches, believe me; it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for us to find a pure woman nowadays.”

I understood his disappointment, since I know how he admired her, so I just said, “Now you don’t want to have anything to do with Andrea, I assume?”

“Of course, man!” he replied heatedly, “I don’t want to do anything with the slut! Jessica is beautiful and a very good person. Therefore, why the hell should I jeopardize the relationship with the good girl over the slut? I’m not stupid, but to be earnest with you, I’m a heartbroken dodo right now anyway. I am sorry, my friend, I’m talking so passionately, but you know, I really loved Andrea and believed her that she might be the right person for me, you know, I really thought she was the one. It was a colossal shock for me to swallow the fact; however, I’m not sorry for myself, but I am really sorry for her. Damn it! I’m so disappointed in her.”

It Was a Thursday Night

“Shogo, you have to know I was ready to break up with Jessica for her. You know, I loved her so much and thought she was different from modern women. I thought she had integrity and a pure heart.”

“Idiot, why are you talking past tense? Besides, what are you implying?”

He made a clean breast of his agony with a trembling voice, “You know, Shogo, after the New Year, I saw her being lonely by herself in the living room. My heart was touched by her poignant expression, since I loved her dearly. Hence, I asked her what made her so sad. She told me that she was broken up with her boyfriend, and she was feeling so sad and lonely. You know, Shogo, I was so sorry for her. Her confession stirred my heart profoundly. So, I invited her to dinner, and she accepted it immediately. Remember when I called you, I was looking forward to the dinner with heart a full of love? Besides, I needed your advice. You’re my best friend, and I trust you more than anyone else. But alas, you, cynical son of bitch, you tried to hang up, because it was a roaming call, and you thought it was expensive. How could you try to hang up on your friend, who desperately needed your consolation and help? Above all, I was dying to share my excitement with someone! Sometimes you make me think you are a heartless son of bitch and make me feel you are only concerned about yourself anyway.”

He lit a cigarette afresh and resumed, “It was a Thursday night when we were supposed to go out together. I came back to the apartment about 6:00 p.m. with high expectations. She was here to do some work in her room, so I knocked on her door determinedly. She opened the door with a serious face. We had talked about everything under the sun almost for two hours. She told me that she was so lonely because she is alone. Moreover, she confessed me that she likes me very much and wanted to ask me out, but when she saw on Facebook that I am dating with Jessica, she changed her mind because she didn’t want to interfere with our relationship. And she didn’t want to make Jessica jealous. When I heard these words, I was melting. I thought Andrea was so pure, and I had to take care of her at any cost. My friend, you don’t know I was almost ready to break up with Jessica. What is more, she told me that she couldn’t go out with me because of Jessica. She didn’t want to hurt Jessica’s feelings. In the night, I was seriously thinking that if I should break up with Jessica for her, and I was ecstatically imagining that Andrea and I are strolling around Condesa, arm in arm. Suddenly, I heard an ominous noise; it was about 1:00 a.m. She came back to the apartment with a guy, can you beat it? I couldn’t see who he was because I was in my room. Besides, I refused to see the bastard’s face. I couldn’t sleep and kept on thinking what she had told me. I couldn’t believe that she was lying to me face to face. I guess it was around 4:00 a.m. that finally that bastard left the apartment. Shogo, you know what I thought in anguish all night?”

“Of course, I know you, man. It must’ve been a tough night for you.”

She Is Your Sweetheart

“Shogo, as I told you, Jessica is my girlfriend now. I’m not in love with her, but I’m enjoying spending the quality of time with her.”

“But you said she is very young, so you didn’t want to have a relationship with her. You just wanted to fuck her, but didn’t want to be her boyfriend. So, what happened?”

“Yes, my initial motive was just fucking her. So, I tried to have sex with her three times in a row. We kissed and touched each other; actually, we did everything aside from doing the real thing, you know what I’m talking about, of course. Whenever I tried to penetrate her private spot, she started guarding it as if it were precious jewel and hurled stupid words at me, such as we are not boyfriend and girlfriend yet; she wants to be my girlfriend, if I really love her, and so on and so forth and such a womanish crap. One day I became so hot and couldn’t control my stallion. Thus, I said ‘Yes’ to her aloud. I said I want to be her boyfriend. I even went further to say de facto I always wanted to be her boyfriend, but I was afraid to ask her because I was not sure that she feels the same way as I do.”

Here I could not refrain from bursting out laughing because he told me about all this crap with a solemn face. And I emitted, “You, lecherous bastard! You’re just a mad as a hatter, ha-ha-ha.”

He lit a cigarette and puffed in the air. And he carried on, “Of course, you have to understand me, Shogo. I was so hot and lewd. I simply couldn’t control my lust and only focused on my goal: penetrate her vagina with my wild stallion. Anyway, it’s turned out very well. I’m beginning to like her. But I think our relationship isn’t going to be beyond a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship because I have no intention of marrying her. As I told you before, I’m not in love with her, but I just want to enjoy having a good lay occasionally and spend a nice time together – that’s all, my friend. I always take precautions before having sex with her, because I don’t need such shit, namely, ‘I am pregnant.’ I don’t accept such crap, because I am still twenty-six years old, and I’m still looking for the right person. Obviously, she is not the one.”

“How about Andrea?” I inquired, “you are supposedly madly in love with her. You told me she broke up with her boyfriend after the New Year. Besides, you told me that you had an earnest conversation with her and asked my help. So what happened?”

“Are you talking about the slut?” he shouted emotionally.

His vehement tone took my breath away. And I exclaimed, “Idiot, why are you calling her slut? She is your sweetheart. And I think she is a reasonable person.”

I Am So Busy Now

February was coming. When I went back to Mexico City, things were quite changed. Now Gerardo has a girlfriend. He met her before I undertook the adventure of reuniting with Ramon in Playa Del Carmen. The weather is not as cold as Gerardo informed me.

It was a Sunday night that I came back to the apartment. He was not there because he had traveled to Acapulco with his friends. He left a note on the table that said: “I am coming back to the apartment on Tuesday. Don’t go anywhere because I am dying to talk to you. Stay at the apartment and don’t go to Excess without me, ha-ha-ha. See you on Tuesday night, my friend.”

When I came back to the apartment from my night perambulation around Condesa, Gerardo was playing X-box in his room. As soon as I entered the room, he shouted, “Son of bitch! I left the note for you. I specifically asked you to stay here tonight. I called you many times, why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“Hey, my friend! I am sorry for not answering the phone. I was preoccupied with the beginning of a new chapter. As I told you, I’ve started writing my book. I am so busy now.”

“Your book is more important than your friends? Ha-ha-ha. Show me your manuscript. I really want to read it. Congratulations, my friend! I am so happy to hear that at last you’ve started writing.”

“Thank you very much, my friend. Now I am busier than business executives all over the world, ha-ha-ha. I’ll show you my manuscript when it’s done.”

“What? I can’t read your book until you finish it! Why are you suddenly acting in mysterious way? Just show me what you’ve written so far because I’m very interested in your book.”

“Because I’ve been writing about my friends. It’ll be a big surprise for everyone. As a matter of fact, I’m writing about you right now. By the way, do you want me to change your name?”

A bright smile spread over his face, and he rambled on, “What nonsense are you talking about? Are you nuts? Why the hell are you considering changing my name? Don’t change it. I’ve always told you that I want to be in your book. Use my real name: Gerardo Veloz. What a great name I have!”

I was smiling at his jocularity. And then I admonished, “But, Gerardo, you should know I’ve been writing the truth. I mean I’ve been writing everything about you. Good points and bad points as well. Besides, I guess I’ve touched your private life. Do you really want to expose your private life so nakedly?”

“I don’t care about my private life or anything because I have nothing to hide. You must use my real name. When you told me that you started writing the book, Jorge and I discussed about it. He was so delighted to hear that you’ve gotten started and said he is truly honored that his name is in your book. He wants you to use his real name as well. If you change his name, I suppose he’ll kill you, ha-ha-ha.” 

“As you wish, crazy brothers, ha-ha-ha. Anyway, how have you been? Everything is okay with you?”

Give Her Your Best Shot

“It sounds awfully difficult to work out marriage. Ramon, I’m starting to feel fortunate for being single now. But I hope I can find the right person someday.”

He grinned, “Bitch, you shouldn’t give a damn about marriage, but you should enjoy your single life to the most until you meet the right person, believe your pimp master’s word, ha-ha-ha.”

I lit a cigarette and claimed deliriously, “Ramon, it’s time for me to perform my duty! I’ve been constantly keeping my eyes on that Argentinean vagina since coming here. She is so beautiful. Can you see that vagina over there – she has chestnut brown hair, green eyes, moderate teats, and a lascivious ass. I want to dance with her right now if you don’t mind?”

He guffawed mirthfully and announced delightedly, “Bitch, do you remember I’ve told you that I have a stunning present for you? Tonight I want you to get laid. I want you to fuck her with your heart’s content. I’m paying for you. Go fuck her, bitch!”

I was astonished by his offer and driveled, “But, Ramon, it’s too expensive. I can’t accept your offer because it’s too much, and you’ve already been too generous to me.”

“Stop talking nonsense, bitch. Not me, but you give me joy visiting us. This is my way of showing my appreciation for your friendship. Now just enjoy fucking such a beautiful cunt, okay? Give her your best shot!”

I was touched by his convivial gesture. It was silly though, hot tears were appearing in my eyes, and I was blubbering like a happy moonstruck, “Thanks, thanks, Ramon, I humbly accept your offer and shall fuck her with my best sexual ability, I promise you, my friend!”

“Ha-ha-ha. You have an hour to fuck her. Plenty of time to perform, eh?  I’m waiting for you here. Enjoy the most and let your aggressive stallion release at your pleasure, bitch!”

When I came back to the table after the intense fucking fiesta with the Argentina vagina, he asked impatiently, “How was it? Did you enjoy fucking her?”

I gave him a satisfied smile and replied dreamily, “What a good lay I just gave her!”

He burst out laughing, holding his belly and shouted jubilantly, “Fucking Shogo! That’s why I am fond of you exceedingly. I am so glad you enjoyed it.”

A brief pause. He composed himself and uttered, “You know, bitch, I’m feeling you’ll eventually love Mexico more than Canada.”

“Why on earth do you think I’ll choose Mexico over my beloved Vancouver?”

“My instinct keeps telling me. You’ll see, bitch, you’ll end up becoming a Mexican citizen, ha- ha-ha.”