Just Listen to My Heart

I still could not believe that the blazing sun was above me, since it was January. Japan was now freezing, with a bitter wind, perhaps? “It is a marvelous day indeed, so I don’t need to hurry to strike a conversation with this beautiful woman with a white bikini. Take time, Shogo,” I talked to myself under the breath. Ergo, I just nodded and said hello to her. As soon as I opened A Wonder Plays on Muted Strings, I completely forgot about the lovely woman with a white bikini sitting right beside me, for I was so engrossed in Hamsun’s lyrical and passionate language. The marvelous passage made me shiver to the core of my being:

 “It is wrong of a captain to ask God to forgive him – as he forgives God. He is simply dramatizing. A wanderer who does not each day find food and drink, clothes and shoes, house and home provided, according to his needs, feels just the right degree of privation when all these splendors are absent. If one thing does not work out, another will. And if that other fails to work out also, he does not go around forgiving God but takes the responsibility himself. He put his shoulder to the wheel of fortune – that is to say, he bows his back before it. It is a trifle hard on flesh and blood, it grays the hair horribly; but a wanderer thanks God for life, it was fun to live!”

This rapturous passage enlightened me and made me fall into reverie. Do I need to wait for divine inspiration from above in order to get started? Why don’t I just start writing from what my heart tells me? In all my life, I have always known what I want to say, and I have eagerly carried my own unique music inside me. The problem is that I have always tried to write everything into a single book heretofore – that is why I have not gotten started yet. I do not need to write all my thoughts into a single book; why don’t I just start writing what I feel like expressing today? Hamsun has revealed to me: “If one thing does not work out, another will.” If I write nonsense today, maybe, I can write something good tomorrow. The imperative thing is that I ought to start writing and ought to keep on writing every day faithfully. I do not need to ask God to give me inspiration; I just listen to my heart. If I listen to my heart attentively and write according to what my heart tells me, God will take care of the rest. No matter what happens, I just have to take the responsibility myself.

I could not control the excitement anymore, for I felt like starting to write a book immediately. I suddenly jumped up and thanked the ravishing lady sunbathing right beside me for enlightening me and kissed both her cheeks. She looked at me confoundedly and said involuntarily, “You’re welcome.” She was still staring at me bewilderedly, but I did not say anything. I just bowed deeply and bolted to Fifth Avenue like a firecracker.

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