I Will Seed Indestructible Faith into My Heart

I was lapsing into reverie. Even today the pond looks filthy. I have never seen a polluted pond like this anywhere except Japan. But it is okay with me because this might be the last time for me to sit here to contemplate the pond. The time has been flying so quickly since the vital decision as if it were yesterday. I am still confounded to grasp the reality. I cannot believe that my suffering is going to be over tomorrow and still cannot believe that I am going to start a new life in Mexico. I had thought that it would be impossible for me to escape from Japan this time, but unexpectedly my good Mexican friends have rescued me from my helpless tribulations. They are my real friends, and I am proud of having such amazing friends. Indeed, it is a wonderful feeling to have such good friends. Our friendship has begun since 2001, and our bonds have been become stronger and more solid, year by year. I consider that it is a miracle, because I have been in Japan, Australia, and Canada; they have been in Mexico – but we somehow have managed to see each other at least twice a year somewhere for nine years. I really think that God made me to go to Vancouver nine years ago, so that I could meet Gerardo and Ramon as well as Jorgito in Mexico. I owe them a huge favor for this unexpected new adventure that might change my life forever. I know what they expect me to do in Mexico: start writing my book. I know that I have still a tiny doubt for myself and still do not believe in my own power entirely. That is why I have never gotten started. If I am able to believe in my own power fully and am able to get rid of my doubt in Mexico, it will be tantamount to everything. My adventure might end very soon if I cannot find a job or I cannot start writing my book over there, but these are not important for me anymore. My only goal of this new adventure is that: I will seed indestructible faith into my heart. In all my life I had wanted to be liberated from Japanese social sphere, but it is not just an act of escaping from Japan that will make me liberated fully. It is just a delusion. Being liberated means that one must get rid of any doubt in his heart and believe in his own power unconditionally. If I can achieve these states, I am perfectly sure that I will become who I truly am and will have peace at my heart. I had been like a bird who is locked in a miserable cage and is about to die from the suffocation of loneliness. But my Mexican friends have opened that door of the cage so that I can fly away to the world. I am going to fly to my friends tomorrow, and I promise myself that I will never let them down again.

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