It was the seven months ago that crazy Ramon unexpectedly got married. It was the most astounding news I have ever heard from him, and it was the most wonderful wedding that I have ever attended so far indeed. Before and after the wedding, he had sent me several mad messages, but with a touch of emotion. Here is his way of breaking the shocking news:
Hey fucking Biatch…!
I have been fucking worried about you, man…. Where the fuck are you? Have you been raped? Have any Japanese cunts kidnapped you by chance? Ha-ha-ha….
Man, I have not received any signal from you since eons. The main reason of my urgent e-mail is that I personally invite you to the day of my execution (the wedding date). I consider you one of my best mother fucker biatch friends, ha-ha-ha. I desperately need your presence in the day of my execution and indescribably want you to stand by my side as a best man. You are not allowed to miss the important day without witnessing my execution. This is the last petition of the condemned man from you! It is your duty as my best biatch friend to be present that day. As a result, you must let me know that you will surely attend my execution as a best witness, please.
The date of wedding is on the fourteenth of March 2009. Yes, man, it will be almost in a fucking month, and I will be deader than Henry Miller in his early period of American sorrow, ha-ha-ha.
Please confirm me your arrival as soon as possible. Believe me, Patricia and I really want you to be present at the wedding with us.
Hope to hear from you soon, biatch. I will attach this e-mail with a copy of your invitation.
Ramon the Cunt Master