I am thinking to myself that what a perfect time I spent there, and how I felt so contented in Acapulco by being surrounded with my friends while strolling around the park wistfully. How courageous I was and how strong my faith in life was three years ago. Now I am devoid of any enthusiasm in life and cannot see how I can escape from my helpless tribulations. Now I am in exactly the same desperate situation as Jorgito is in. I know that I should quit my job, so that I can be dedicated to my writing and can spend all my time on it; nevertheless, I am now like Jorgito. I am so worried about stupid money because, without money, I cannot go back to Vancouver and cannot find a place to stay there. Why do I just quit my job and buy a flight ticket for Vancouver? It seems so easy to me, the idea itself, but I am afraid of taking a step, because I know if I do that, in two months, I will be destitute. I want to quit my job, but my circumstances cannot allow it, which has completely become my dilemma. And I have been suffering from it unbearably.
I love listening to the music of soughing trees, which always give me a mysterious feeling and always makes me happy while I am strolling around a park. I also love walking on the streets aimlessly, immersed in my own thoughts. But alas, in Japan even the sound of soughing trees and walking on the streets make me dispirited. I totally do not know what I am going to do; I am constantly feeling consternation about my future and myself.