He is lapsing into silence for a while with his hands in his pockets. I know why he is being silent; he is just moved by his own speech. It happens all the time after he gives a passionate speech. In fact, I just witnessed the same profound silence yesterday after he gave me the unnecessary farewell speech at his aunt’s house. Sure enough, two big tears are trickling down his cheeks. I am certain that right now he is proud of himself beyond human imagination; he is comparing himself with Napoleon, perhaps? At any rate, he is a sensualist in toto, so I can expect anything from him.
After he tastes his triumph moment enough, he keeps the ball rolling with a glint of longing on his eyes: “You know, amigo, I am a dreamer. I’ve always dreamt about better Mexico and ponder over how to improve current situations, because a great deal of people are unemployed right now in Mexico. It’s not fair for people who don’t have enough money to attend university. In Mexico people must graduate university if they want to have a job. I just can’t accept this bull-shit. I love my fatherland and fellow countrymen very much; I can’t watch my fellow countrymen suffering in destitute. I can’t close my eyes before the atrocious injustice, you know…. You can say I am a true patriot. Actually, I am more than that: I am the champion of my fatherland. Don’t tell anyone, Shogo, this is between you and me, okay? I have to confess that I always mull on how to serve my poor fellow countrymen and always shed tears for the fact that I’m not in the position to help them right now before retiring. That’s why I’ve been working persistently, as Heracles was assigned twelve labors and pushing myself to the limit in order to see my possibility, as Theseus preferred to take the land route from Troezen to Athens in order to go through numerous adventures and obstacles. I have a big dream, you know, I really have a humongous dream, namely, starting my own company to contribute job positions toward my poor fellow countrymen. I’ve realized as lucidly as Buddha in the hour of his enlightening that helping my fellow countrymen and fighting for justice is the main mission in my life. It is a gigantic task for me and besides, I know from the bottom of my heart that it’ll take my whole lifetime to serve for my fellow countrymen though. I just want you to know that I’m forever ready at their disposal. What is more, I’ve considered about building a cathedral as headquarter for my mission. And I’ve constantly daydreamt that someday I’ll provide job positions to poor fellows from a high altar, like a magnanimous pope. I’ve tried to enjoy every single process for my mission and worked diligently, so that the day will eventually come on earth that every single mistreated fellow in Mexico will jubilantly shout ‘Hurrah’ at Jorge Veloz, and they’ll burst into a song to rejoice the heart with gratitude tears in their eyes, as if the heaven split open and Messiah descended from the mountaintop. Please don’t think I’m a romantic moonstruck, Shogo; on the contrary, I sincerely want to plant the seed of hope into Mexican soil. I honestly wish to see the world and life, as I saw them when I was a child. That’s all, amigo.”
Here he suddenly drains the bottle of water with unduly aggressiveness, springs up as swiftly as Achilles, and walks toward the window gravely, as if his eyes just casted on Trojan hero Hector. He is staring at the blue heaven remorsefully for a while, as Odysseus thought of his home, then begins his discourse, as though he were performing his soliloquy before invisible audiences: “You know, amigo, I’ve been having quit a difficult time since I turned my back on the stupid job. Don’t misinterpret this, Shogo, I’m so glad that I’ve become independent and stayed away from stupid society systems. However, I’m feeling uneasy and worried about my economic circumstances all the time. I’m no longer paid every single month, like when I was a shameful slave; I only receive money only twice a year – that’s why I’m constantly anxious about selling houses and feel obliging to take care of many things at once. To be candid with you, I’m still not satisfied with my situation, but I feel alive and enthusiastic. On top of it all, I’m glad that I’m no longer a slave and thank God at sunrise every morning for being able to unlock the fetters from my feet. You know, Shogo, what I’ve realized is that everyone has a second chance; every one is able to be liberated if they sincerely want to be redeemed from the bottom of the heart. It seems to me that the majority of people give up even before they start fighting for their dear lives. Do they enjoy being a slave or are they afraid of being a different from others? Or don’t they simply have enough courage to let themselves to walk on their private destiny? I guess that they just accept the modern society system, without questioning whether they are right systems or whether they bring happiness to them. And to cap it all, they’re unwantedly trapped by the modern society system and undesirably conclude that life is a humdrum routine. Boredom puts fetters upon the imagination, so to speak. They’d better recognize that they are able to unlock the fetters any time they want, for the key is invitingly dangling before their eyes. All negative and pessimistic thoughts are in mind, you know; they create boredom and fear in their minds themselves. They should forget what they’ve failed to achieve; they should forgive themselves and start living on their lives according to their heart’s prompting. It does not matter what they’ve done so far; it does matter how they look at the future. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that right now I can calmly look at my future and patiently wait for my new world to come. I’m very sure as sun never failing to rise that I’ll hit the spot someday somehow if I keep on ascending invisible ladders toward the bright light and never give up. Moreover, I’ve already gone too far, so I can’t go back to my old miserable life again. I can no longer picture to myself that I work for a company and work under a stupid boss in goddamn tight schedule. No, amigo, that humiliating life is finished in me for good. I’ll never be a slave again!”