He Has Just Changed My Life

It has been around 3: 30 a.m. when we return to the apartment. Gerardo wants to stay with me until a cab driver arrives, but I know he will have a business meeting at the early morning. Besides, I do not want to have a dramatic leave-taking scene; I want it to be as brief as possible. For that reason, I say briefly, “Gerardo, you should go to the bed, for you have to go to Santa Fe by 7:30 in the morning. You can have only two hours to sleep. And also you need a rest, my friend. Don’t you worry about me, I’ll be okay. I’ll just take a shower and decamp, so….”

“I want to say good-bye to you, man,” he murmurs.

I give him an amicable hug and come out with, “Thanks, my friend. But you’ve already helped me too much. I can’t expect more. I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me.”

Pause.

“Shogo, I want to tell you one last thing. Don’t worry about anything. You’ll be okay. You’ll stay in Japan only for a couple of months, so don’t be depressed. I really think that you can go to Vancouver very soon and believe that it will be sooner than you think. God always watches you over your shoulders, so just do what you must do, my friend.”

With that, he gives me a handshake and warm hug – vanishes into his room.

“I’m going to miss him awfully,” I think to myself with tears in my eyes. He is going to turn to be twenty-seven years old in several months, but for me, he is still seventeen-years old. Gerardo Veloz has kicked me in the ass to walk on my private destiny – he has just changed my life.

After I take a shower, I decide to wait for a cab outside. I grab my suitcase and backpack and leave the apartment keys on the table. And then I walk out the apartment with a heart overflowing with gratitude.

Oh My Sweet Lord, She Was Using Me!

He asks me a cigarette, and I light it for him. And then he opens the window, puffs in the air and rambles on while the cool air is blowing in, “Shogo, I have to disclose something, so please listen to me carefully. Tonight I thought that I would be slaughtered by the alcoholic vagina. When she was rushing toward me with a hysterical shriek, I was freaked out and almost shat in my pants. I’m not kidding, my friend. I’m goddamn serious; I’ve never seen such diabolical eyes, with a glint of death in all my life. It was like a slow-motion movie; my life was flashed before my eyes when she tried to attack me in vain. I saw you and me will be still good friends. You’ll knock down a number of books and be a respected writer. And the best part is that I’ll be a very successful business man. My model agency will be flourishing like scent of hyacinths; I’ll open numerous franchises across Pacific Ocean. I will be surrounding with a bunch of sexy vaginas, like Hugh Hefner, and my stallion is smiling… I’ll be so happy, you know, ha-ha-ha….”

I am flabbergasted by his palaver and cannot help remarking, “You, intoxicated son of bitch! Are you drunk? You seem to be a high spirit and try to enjoy every single moment, like a condemned man who is just pardoned from his death sentence, ha-ha-ha…. By the way, I still can’t believe that you bought eight drinks for the booze artist. With such a huge amount of money, you could have a thirty-minute dance twice, man! I’ve never seen a man who blindly buys drinks for a vagina without being compensated. What an asshole, ha-ha-ha….”

“Shut up, man! It was simply out of control and beyond my power. She is so beautiful, man, you know… sometimes things are just out of control… I was fucking infatuated by her charm. Damn it, alcoholic vagina bewitched me, man! Oh my sweet Lord, she was using me! My friend, she was using me, ha-ha-ha….” Here he is suddenly hypnotized by a passing car across the street, staring at it for seconds, and then exclaiming, “Did you see that vagina?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What? Didn’t you see that vagina who was just driving past?”

“Nope.”

“For God’s sake, please pay attention, Shogo! She is extremely beautiful. I believe that I’ve just seen a sweet angel fleeting away, you know…. Even though vaginas always deceive me, I love them dearly. You see, I’m totally in thrall to vaginas, and I have no control over them. What a power they have!”

I Am Just Curious

It is a time for us to decamp, so we pay the bill and sashay toward the threshold. Before we step out the place, Gerardo suddenly frowns and blurts, “Do you know what I think of the inebriate vagina?” With that, he lifts up his light leg slightly and let off his Molotov cocktail. It must have been sharp enough to be through the thin air for carrying his message to the alcoholic vagina, because she is suddenly jumping up on the sofa and frenziedly charging toward him like a mad swine. It is lucky for him, for here a pimp swiftly steps in, grabs the assailant, and orders us to leave immediately. When we hit the street, Gerardo confesses with beads of perspiration on his temple, “By Jove! I saw murder in her eyes, man! Such furious eyes could turn a human being to a stone, so to say….  I almost ran to the end of the world for my dear life, ha-ha-ha….”

While we were driving to the apartment, Gerardo inquires with an amazed look, “Shogo, I’m just wondering what you talked to your vagina, because she can’t speak English; you know only little Spanish. So I am just curious….”

I look at the outside sheepishly for a while, and then answer, “Nothing special, man. I was just pretending to understand everything what she uttered.”

“I thought so, I thought so, my friend. That’s what I just thought, idiot, ha-ha-ha…”

She Is a Booze Artist

She is repeating the same Excess gibberish over and over. It is apparent at the first glance that she is a booze artist. However, with infatuated Gerardo’s eyes, she is a fallen angel from heaven, and he keeps on buying drinks for her with a libidinous expectation. I am getting anxious and ask impatiently, “Gerardo, what are you doing? You have to go to a private dance right in this fucking instance. What time is it now?”

“Oh, come on! Take it easy, man. Trust me, we have more time to enjoy. It’s merely half past two. I’m working on it, my friend. She wants to drink more before we begin to jig. Be patient, give me more time, and just enjoy kissing your vagina, man, ha-ha-ha….”

Another thirty minutes has elapsed, without Gerardo having a private dance. No sooner than the drunken vagina goes to a bathroom by saying, “Order another drink for me!” – Gerardo explodes with animosity, “Fucking alcoholic vagina! Did you hear what she’s just said? I’ll no longer buy a drink for that crazy vagina anymore! She’s kept saying that if I buy a drink for her, I can have a private dance with her. And even more, she’s insinuated that I can penetrate her private spot with my wild stallion if I order another drink. What a sly vagina! No more spending my money on the screwball vagina!”

Here she comes back to the table and catches a glimpse of the table without drinks, she curses Gerardo hysterically, flips the finger off him crossly, and strode away furiously. At my great astonishment, in a few minutes, she reappears, sits down right next to our table, and engages in a conversation with a new client, as if we no longer existed anymore. Yeah, there is no doubt that she is thoroughly saturated with the spirit of whore. In other words, she is a professional whore and was borne to be a booze artist.

How Did You Do That, Man?

We have been patiently waiting for some attractive vaginas to show up until twelve, but it is no luck for us. Thereupon, we decide to change the place. As we arrive at the last destination, Gerardo suggests optimistically, “Shogo, this is our last card. I think we can’t expect beautiful vaginas tonight due to it being Monday night. For that reason, we should stop being picky and just try to enjoy whatever they offer us; you know, just pick a vagina and have a private dance. This is your last night, so I want you to have fun, my friend.”

“Yeah, you’re goddamn right. We must enjoy tonight come hell or high water. Let’s do it, my friend,” I nod approvingly.

We choose the table right beside the main dance stage. Gerardo orders drinks for us and utters, “I think this place has more vaginas. By the way, I can’t believe you’re gone by the morning. I’ll miss you, man.”

I light a cigarette, puff in the air thoughtfully, and then express my nostalgic feeling, “Yeah, I still can’t believe my mission in Mexico will be over in several hours. As a matter of fact, it’s all too strange to me; I feel like I came to Mexico yesterday, you know…. The time has flown so fast like snapping fingers. In my past Mexican adventures, I’d always stayed for a month; this time, I’ve been stayed for six months. I don’t comprehend anything, man….”

“Shogo, six months is nothing. You should’ve stayed with us at least two or three years, you know….  Anyway, I still can’t believe that you’ve enjoyed Mexico to the fullest without Spanish. You, obstinate son of bitch, refused to speak Spanish; you spoke only English. But you had a wonderful time and enjoyed Mexican life every single day. How did you do that, man? Ha-ha-ha…,” he is laughing.