My Patience Has a Limit

At last, one vagina came to our table. She was decidedly an unattractive vagina. This was a last straw for Gerardo, and he exploded, “Oh my God! It’s too much, it’s too much, my friend. I’ve been waiting for beautiful vaginas for three hours like a good altar boy, but not like this one. Can you believe that only one ugly vagina has showed up to our table? What a nightmare! Christ, time has elapsed so quickly, we have no choice, man, we have to pick up some vaginas to have a private dance. But I can’t find any vaginas who I fancy to jig with. Wait, Shogo, I’ll ask this vagina how much she’ll ask for a private dance. Give me a second, my friend.”

Pause.

“It’s goddamn outrage!” he bellowed. “Can you beat it? Fucking vagina named me extravagant price only for two songs! You know what? I’m not going to have any private dance tonight. I right on refuse to pay such an extravagant price for ugly vaginas. By the way, she told me that you can boink her, but you have to pay five thousand pesos. Can you believe that this gross vagina is offering us such an absurd price?”

I had been very patient, but it was the last straw for me. I was not Gandhi; my patience had a limit. My vexation was just reached to the maximum. I could no longer refrain from exploding and flared up, “Idiot! That’s why I’ve told you countless times that we should change the place, but you, son of bitch, adamantly refused my suggestion right in my face. Guess what? What happened? Now the foul vagina is asking us the fucking extravagant price! God forbids! It’s your fucking fault, man. I can’t believe myself that I even don’t have any private dances in my very last raid of a strip club under the Mexican sky! Gerardo, you annihilated my last mission, man, you really annihilated it, man!”

With that, I let myself give a loud fart in order to insult the unreasonable vagina.

“Oh my God! What was that? You, son of bitch, gave such a loud fart in the public place!” Gerardo was astounded.

“I didn’t intend to produce such a loud fart. To be earnest with you, it was much louder than I expected,” I explained confoundedly.

“What, son of bitch? Didn’t expect it? Shame on you, man! Don’t you have any compunction? You’re constantly polluting my fatherland, man! Mexico has been kind to you, welcomed you with open arms, and accepted you as a spiritual brother. On top of it all, Mexico has inspired you to launch on writing your very first book. But you, son of bitch, gave such a loud fart to the face of Mexican soil! You owe Mexico, and this is how you repay it to my country?”

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