I Am Just a Man

I have constantly sought for inner peace in all my life. In my seeking, one thing is crystal clear to me: Money does not bring any peace to one’s life. On the contrary, money brings total annihilation. If people are obsessed with money, they produce only unforgivable evil acts: wars, murders, robberies, cons, embezzlement, treacheries, homicides, scams, prostitution, ransoms, and so on and so forth. When I was early twenties, I had a considerable sum in my bank account and drove a Corvette. I was one of top sales men and earned quite huge salary per mouth. Even though I had enough money to afford to buy what I fancied, I had spent the darkest moment in my life. Everyone taught me that I had to accumulate wealth and had a good job. I was so young and did not begin knocking about the world yet, so I accepted this frivolous teaching without any questions. I was as innocent as a dove and believed what these assholes instructed me. A stupid job became the center of my tragic life. I constantly thought how to sell the products. Even in my dreams, I was practicing my sales talks. Oh yeah, I must admit that I was wretchedly hunted by money. One day I realized the horrible fact that I had been working over ten hours a day and six days a week for two years in a row, without taking any vacation. I was constantly depressed, and I frequently harbored the idea of committing suicide, since I could not see any meaning in this hectic life. The worst part was that I was doing what I hated the most and spending my precious time for corrupting myself. What made me depressed the most was to know consciously that I had resembled mean Japanese bastards whom I despised to my gut. I constantly raced with other sales men, deceived clients to buy unnecessary expensive Spanish tiles by offering extravagant prices, so that I could earn commissions. Besides, I was to behave infinitely aloof at an office. Even though I had money, I was always worried about making more money. It seemed no end to me. I felt that I was frittering away my life, and I hated myself awfully. When I felt that I could no longer endure such a nonsensical life, and I was about to commit suicide, I ran into The Rosy Crucifixion, that saved my life and changed my life forever. Miller opened the door of a new world for me and made me understand that I was not alone to feel in this particular way. As a consequence, here I am in Playa Del Carmen – in my thirty-fourth year, I feel alive and blissful without money, car, income, job, house, and title. In fact, I do not have any resources and any obligations: I am just a man. I am standing on the streets of Mexico, with arms akimbo in the glaring sun as naked as Mighty Hercules. Far away from my own country, I have found peace at my heart under the foreign sky at the very first time in my life.

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