I Am Feeling So Alive

I have made up my mind and become so happy with the sudden prospect of the new adventure. “I have to let my Mexican friends know about my vital decision tonight!” I thought to myself excitedly. I decided to walk instead of taking a train because I was so intoxicated with my unexpected odyssey. While I was walking on my way to home, a beautiful tune of whistling came from my lips. “When on earth is the last time I whistled like that? Ages ago, perhaps?” I thought. As I was passing the train station, I changed my mind to sit down on a bench to smoke and enjoy this fantastic feeling a little more. I lit a cigarette and looked up the sky with bright shining stars. “It is so strange,” I thought, “because normally, I cannot see so many shining stars on autumn sky, but tonight shining stars are congregating above me as though Almighty in heaven decided to celebrate the prospect of my new adventure and decided to make me perceive that He always will look after me if I do not stray from my true path.” With watery eyes, I silently thanked God for being born under the lucky stars. I stood up and started skipping with whistling from sheer joy. While I was on my way home, I was constantly yelling at the unusually beautiful night sky like a happy lunatic, “I will let my Mexican friends know about my vital decision tonight! Thank God, I am feeling so alive!” while snapping my fingers.

What the Fuck Marital Counselor Is?

Here I interjected a sympathetic comment, “I know you’ve never cheated on her; you’ve been faithful to her on your own way. I know you just wanted to have fun without any disturbances; however, it was wrong for you not to answer the phone, my friend. I really think that handling a marriage is goddamn difficult task, anyway.”

“Exactly, bitch! Marriage is fucking difficult,” he nodded thoughtfully and carried on alarmingly, “moreover, Carlos told me that Patricia wants to go back to Guadalajara to stay at her parents’ house for a while to think about the situation. And she wants to visit a marital counselor. I was shocked to hear such a drastic decision for her part, and I told him forthwith that it’s extremely bad idea for her to go back to Guadalajara, for we must try to solve out the domestic problem by ourselves first. We must try to solve out the problem with only family but not outsiders. If we can’t find a solution domestically, and then she can ask advice for her parents or a goddamn marital counselor, whomever she fancies. By the way, I really don’t comprehend what the fuck marital counselor is? Why the hell do many wedded couples ask a marital counselor for help nowadays? I’ve never heard such a preposterous invention in my life. I don’t believe in such a logical bull-shit! How can a total stranger help for our marriage problems? Spilling the beans to a total stranger is fucking horse feathers, I tell you!”

Did You Do It?

Ramon returned to the apartment with a climacteric look after the confrontation. He collapsed on the couch dramatically like the Soviet empire and looked at the window distressingly for a couple of minutes, murmuring, “Oh Lord, not like this, not like this….” And then he opened his agitated heart, in an anxious voice, “Bitch, the matter is getting complicated more than I expected. Carlos’s opening line was like this, ‘Do you want to continue living with Patricia?’ I was petrified with the foreboding question and answered immediately that I truly want to live with her and continue the marriage, like a fugitive who was startled by tapping on his left shoulder and was asked all at once, ‘Did you do it?’ And he continued he’s never seen Patricia in such a dispirited condition. She hasn’t eaten anything and has slept all day. She doesn’t even have energy to get up from a bed. He was so worried about her; that’s why he decided to have a serious talk with me. I told him that I need to have a free time and need to have fun with my friends at least once a week. I’ve done nothing wrong and never cheated on her; I’ve just had merry time with my friends. He totally understood I need such enjoyment and also added it was very bad for me not to pick up the phone. He admonished my behavior, which made Patricia overwrought. I thoroughly admit that it was my fault, and my action made her anxious to the hell.”

I Am a Pariah Among Japanese

I went to my favorite café, where I can be at peace without being disturbed. Whenever I want to contemplate something important, I come here. As soon as I ordered coffee, I ascended the stairs to the second floor and found a table in front of a transparent window to sit on there pondering over their proposals. It is so strange that Jorgito and Ramon have offered exactly the same proposal on the same day. I am sure that it is not just a coincidence, but it is something. Can it be the sign from the heaven, perhaps? Who knows? But what am I going to do once I am in Mexico? Of course, I want to write my book there, but I have still no idea what my book is going to be like and how to begin. I did a little sketch, but it is nothing. Moreover, I can speak only basic Spanish, which I have never seriously learned in my past adventures in Mexico. Their proposal sounds wonderful to me though. I had focused on going back to Vancouver exclusively, so I had been totally blind and had been unable to see the possibility for writing my book in Mexico. Yes, I have good friends over there. If I stay in Japan, I will be dejected and will not produce anything worthwhile, because one must be happy and content if he wants to write a good book. Living in Japan makes me feel useless and an utter failure. Nobody understands what I am doing every day. I have been completely isolated and ostracized from Japanese society; I am a pariah among Japanese. Furthermore, it is a matter of time, money will be running out, and I will have to take a fucking job again. I have to avoid falling in such a humiliating situation again with all possible considerations. I do not waste my precious time anymore and do not feel isolated anymore. I am not a chip of wood; I am a human being with feelings. Therefore, I sometimes need friends to have a heart to heart talk with! Besides, it is time for me to do something to change my life radically and to do something worthwhile with my life. Maybe, it will be a good idea for me to stay in Mexico with my friends to enjoy my life and ruminate about writing earnestly for a while. But if I cannot find a job over there, what am I going to do? And how long am I able to stay there? Maybe, I have to think about unforeseen problems later. Yes, just go there and worry about them later! Can’t you see the bright side of your future? Think about how lucky you are, idiot! How many people on this earth are lucky enough to be offered such a wonderful proposal and how many people on this planet are lucky enough to have such wonderful friends: a few. You are a lucky bastard, Shogo! All my friends want me to write my book and help me to achieve my goal. The rest is depending on you. Yes, I want to go to Mexico! I must go there to change my miserable life into happy life, a chapter of my new life. I will learn a little Spanish, perhaps? It does not matter whether I can find a job or whether I can start writing my book over there; the most important thing is that I should not miss this golden opportunity. I do not know whether I will be offered such a wonderful proposal in the future; it might be my last chance. Yes, what are you waiting for? Are you afraid of taking a risk? What risk? You have been already doomed here, idiot! Mexico is your last option to escape from the inferno! Just make up your mind and do not miss the opportunity!

Human Beings Have Each Own Feelings

He was lapsing into silence for a full minute and resumed, “Let me explain why I treasure friendship above all everything. Because if my marriage was over, and I had no friends, I would be totally alone. As you witnessed the incident, it is fucking difficult to work out the marriage, you know, so anything will occur in the future. If I want to continue the marriage, and she doesn’t want to continue it, I can’t do anything for it, because human beings have each own feelings. If a person doesn’t feel the same way as I do, I can’t do anything to change it, because human feelings are not compelled to change. It’ll be against nature, you know. But when I have friends, I won’t be alone. And they’ll help me to get my feet back on life. As a matter of fact, the first person I’ll count on is you, bitch, you know. I always think that if my marriage can’t work out, I should visit you in Japan and stay at your house. You know, I can be a pimp for Japanese brothel, ha-ha-ha…. That’s why I always go out when my friends invite me to drinks or something else. If I always refuse to go out with my friends, they’ll stop inviting me and cease to be my friends. I can’t afford to lose my friends, you know…. By the way, Carlos called me and wanted to talk with me about the incident. I have to see him around 7:00 p.m. As you know, he is my boss and my friend, so I guess he’ll understand my part, but to be candid with you, I’m a wee bit worried about the inevitable meeting. Hence, I’ll ask you to pray for me the very first time in my pimp life. Please pray for me, with a hand on your heart, bitch!”