Ha-ha-ha… My friend, I tell you that your e-mail was extremely funny (well, just for me), because I guessed that it was not funny for you; you were very desperate when you wrote it. I wish that your stomach condition will be better soon.
Well, I have an appointment with my doctor on the coming Monday. I feel much better now; however, most of days I have fucking diarrhea. I do not know why I have fucking diarrhea all the time. Maybe, because of alcohol or spicy food, but I am not sure. I absolutely understood the trepidation when you said that you are afraid of going out, because you do not know whether you might be going to shit in your pants. Really, trust me, my friend – I have been there and in your shoes countless times. It is horrible when you cannot hold a caca. Once out of desperation, I started yelling at Almighty Lord in heaven, “Lord, why did you choose me over other billion people? Why did you particularly choose an innocent Mexican boy? I have to go to work, so stop this unpleasant sensation on my stomach in this right instance. Please I beg thee!” But He never answers my prayer as He ignores yours.