I’m Very Interested in Your Book

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February was coming. When I went back to Mexico City, things were quite changed. Now Gerardo has a girlfriend. He met her before I undertook the adventure of reuniting with Ramon in Playa Del Carmen. The weather is not as cold as Gerardo informed me.

It was a Sunday night that I came back to the apartment. He was not there because he had traveled to Acapulco with his friends. He left a note on the table that said: “I am coming back to the apartment on Tuesday. Don’t go anywhere because I am dying to talk to you. Stay at the apartment and don’t go to Excess without me, ha-ha-ha. See you on Tuesday night, my friend.”

When I came back to the apartment from my night perambulation around Condesa, Gerardo was playing X-box in his room. As soon as I entered the room, he shouted, “Son of bitch! I left the note for you. I specifically asked you to stay here tonight. I called you many times, why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“Hey, my friend! I am sorry for not answering the phone. I was preoccupied with the beginning of a new chapter. As I told you, I’ve started writing my book. I am so busy now.”

“Your book is more important than your friends? Ha-ha-ha. Show me your manuscript. I really want to read it. Congratulations, my friend! I am so happy to hear that at last you’ve started writing.”

“Thank you very much, my friend. Now I am busier than business executives all over the world, ha-ha-ha. I’ll show you my manuscript when it’s done.”

“What? I can’t read your book until you finish it! Why are you suddenly acting in mysterious way? Just show me what you’ve written so far because I’m very interested in your book.”

“Because I’ve been writing about my friends. It’ll be a big surprise for everyone. As a matter of fact, I’m writing about you right now. By the way, do you want me to change your name?”

I Can’t Accept Your Offer

I lit a cigarette and claimed deliriously, “Ramon, it’s time for me to perform my duty! I’ve been constantly keeping my eyes on that Argentinean vagina since coming here. She is so beautiful. Can you see that vagina over there – she has chestnut brown hair, green eyes, moderate teats, and a lascivious ass. I want to dance with her right now if you don’t mind?”

He guffawed mirthfully and announced delightedly, “Bitch, do you remember I’ve told you that I have a stunning present for you? Tonight I want you to get laid. I want you to fuck her with your heart’s content. I’m paying for you. Go fuck her, bitch!”

I was astonished by his offer and driveled, “But, Ramon, it’s too expensive. I can’t accept your offer because it’s too much, and you’ve already been too generous to me.”

“Stop talking nonsense, bitch. Not me, but you give me joy visiting us. This is my way of showing my appreciation for your friendship. Now just enjoy fucking such a beautiful cunt, okay? Give her your best shot!”

I was touched by his convivial gesture. It was silly though, hot tears were appearing in my eyes, and I was blubbering like a happy moonstruck, “Thanks, thanks, Ramon, I humbly accept your offer and shall fuck her with my best sexual ability, I promise you, my friend!”

“Ha-ha-ha. You have an hour to fuck her. Plenty of time to perform, eh? I’m waiting for you here. Enjoy the most and let your aggressive stallion release at your pleasure, bitch!”

When I came back to the table after the intense fucking fiesta with the Argentina vagina, he asked impatiently, “How was it? Did you enjoy fucking her?”

I gave him a satisfied smile and replied dreamily, “What a good lay I just gave her!”

He burst out laughing, holding his belly and shouted jubilantly, “Fucking Shogo! That’s why I am fond of you exceedingly. I am so glad you enjoyed it.”

A brief pause. He composed himself and uttered, “You know, bitch, I’m feeling you’ll eventually love Mexico more than Canada.”

“Why on earth do you think I’ll choose Mexico over my beloved Vancouver?”

“My instinct keeps telling me. You’ll see, bitch, you’ll end up becoming a Mexican citizen, ha- ha-ha.”

I Feel Like A Galley Slave

A solemn expression appeared on his face, “Bitch, it is fucking difficult to work out the marriage,” he divulged, “I’ve been discovering her new personality every single day which I didn’t know about before being married. Every day I discover her new disposition. Sometimes I don’t even recognize her. I don’t say that I’ve discovered everything is bad, but it certainly gives enough food for my noodle to ponder over and over. I really don’t recommend you to marry anyone unless you can find the right person, but it is the most difficult business in one’s life, I tell you, because you won’t know her rightly until you live with her for a certain time. When you have boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, it’s kind of magic. You always have a good time with her because you spend only several hours with her per day. You can be alone and enjoy your private time after leaving her. The bottom line is that when you see her only for part of a day; you can only get to know about her infinitesimal disposition. She only reveals a tiny part of her disposition to you. But alas, after being married, she suddenly changes her personality and reveals everything. And it’s not everything good to eyes, trust me. I really think the most perfect relationship is boyfriend and girlfriend. After marriage, the thing just gets complicated and intricate.”

He gulped a bottle of beer and carried on, “The most irritating thing is that she always calls me to ask where I am after work, because she knows my job finishes at 6:00 prompt. I feel like a galley slave whenever I receive her call. Since being married, I’ve never had my own time. Sometimes I get so annoyed and stressed out – that’s why I decided to go to a gym every day after work, so that I can be alone at least a couple of hours a day; that’s why I chose the gym that is quite far away from my apartment. Patricia said I am crazy to choose this gym, since it is expensive and very far from my apartment; she’s reproached me that I can find a cheaper gym around my neighborhood. But I don’t care even if she disapproves of me or even if she disparages me, because I need to be alone for unmitigated relaxation sometimes; otherwise, I’ll be a paranoid bedlamite and end up in a mental asylum. Really, bitch, I sometimes get irrepressibly frustrated. When I am under this spell, I usually don’t answer my mobile phone. Of course, she yells at me hysterically when I go back to the apartment.”

Pause.

“It sounds awfully difficult to work out marriage. Ramon, I’m starting to feel fortunate for being single now. But I hope I can find the right person someday.”

He grinned, “Bitch, you shouldn’t give a damn about marriage, but you should enjoy your single life to the most until you meet the right person, believe your pimp master’s word, ha-ha-ha.”