I Am Madly in Love With Her

He burst out laughing, “Son of bitch, okay, okay, I know what stupid Jorge is like when he gets excited, that idiot! However, you must invite me next time you go to Excess, okay? I really want to go there; I always want to go there to touch beautiful vaginas to my heart’s content, ha-ha-ha…. By the way, did you dance with your sweetheart or find a new vagina?”

“Of course, I danced with Elaine, my friend!” my face is brightened and continued, “it was wild, my friends, so wild indeed, believe me. And Jorgito did a thirty-minute dance with a Hungarian vagina, and he came in his pants just two minutes, ha-ha-ha….”

“What? Stupid Jorge danced thirty minutes? He came in his pants just two minutes? Ha-ha-ha, it’s so quick, no? Oh my God, was he excited? That son of bitch really enjoyed last night without me.”

“Yap,” I nodded. “He enjoyed it too much. I never see him in so happy mood, ha-ha-ha….”

“But how about you? Tell me about Elaine. Are you going out with her? She likes you very much. What happened yesterday? For God’s sake, tell me everything, Shogo.”

I lit a cigarette and answered happily, “I think I’m in love with her, man. Please don’t say anything; just hear me out. Listen, my friend, I asked her out for next Tuesday. You know, I always have fun with her. I really enjoy being with her, spending time with her, and talking with her. As you know, I’ve been faithful to her for three years, in my own way, of course. Three years of faith is not a joke, my friend. I have no shame confessing that I am madly in love with her.”

“What? Are you sure? I don’t believe you,” he said with a bewildered face, “I know your faith with her is quite genuine because I’ve witnessed that you’ve constantly danced with her these past three years. It’s too much, no? However, my friend, however, she is a whore. She dances with many guys every night; many guys touch her body every night. Wake up, man. You’re not in love with her. I know you, man. You just want to be a romantic son of bitch. You think falling in love with a whore is something new to you and falling in love with a whore adds a spice of mystery to your character, I know you, man, ha-ha-ha. But I don’t buy such shit! Tell me the truth, man! Also, I remember what you said: you don’t want to have a girlfriend until you are recognized as a writer. What is wrong with you tonight?”

“Watch out your language, will you?” I bellowed. “First of all, you can’t call her just a whore – she is an extraordinary whore, do you understand? Needless to say, she is very beautiful, actually extremely beautiful – I worship her rosy vagina. She is in love with me and vice-versa. What is wrong with that? I know she is a whore. Maybe, being a whore shines her virtue and makes me love her more, I guess.”

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