Almost Suffocated with Loneliness

Monday is coming. Most Japanese hate Monday. It is a depressing day because it is the beginning of treadmill, which means that they have to start all over again and continue their tedious routines. But for me, it is the blessing day, because Monday is my day off, and I do not need to see my hysterical supervisor, who constantly makes my Benefit One life miserable. Just remembering her existence makes me mad, and every time her insulting words invade into my mind, I make a secret oath to myself: I swear in the name of Jesus, by the time I quit my job, I will have made her humiliated before my colleagues by dragging her around the office by pulling her hair mercilessly, amen!

On my day off, I always turn my irritating mobile phone off, because I do not want to disturb my freedom, and needless to say, I have no friends in Japan. I am almost suffocated with loneliness, because I have been alone for a long time since coming back here and do not have anyone to talk with. I am used to spending all my time by myself and have begun enjoying being alone. But at the bottom of my heart, I do not feel so alone completely, because I have good friends in Mexico who always send me messages to check that I have not committed suicide yet and who talk to me by messenger when I am online. It is good enough for me to know that someone far away from Japan is concerned about my circumstances, which makes me realize that I am not totally alone on this earth. It is so strange to me that all my best friends are Mexicans. Why I cannot find any single friend in my own country is a mystery to me. Because of my good Mexican friends, I have been in Mexico six times and have begun to love Mexico so much. I am pondering: Is it God’s way to educate me to perceive that there is the country where people are friendly, warm, and a full of life? Or is it God’s way to make me realize that I perhaps do not belong in Japan?

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