My tragedy was that as soon as I became true myself and started speaking freely and gave myself free rein to express my opinions about anything under the sun, I suddenly became an alien in my own country’s people’s eyes. They started pretending not to recognize me as a fellow countryman anymore. Japanese are obviously not ready to grasp what I am aiming at and sadly do not have a big heart enough to accept me as I truly am. They started whispering to each other after I showed my true colors to them, “He’s insane, to be sure as God’s sunrise, because he always talks about unfathomable things to ordinary Japanese like us. For instance, the importance of having a free spirit in one’s heart; Japanese people are herd animals as possessed swine running toward a disaster; one’s obligation to ponder over the meaning of life; and taking a job that one doesn’t believe in is the worst time waster that one can conceive. He wants to walk on streets leisurely and just sit at a café to enjoy looking at passersby every day; he reads a number of foreign books which only he can comprehend, but no Japanese dare to touch, etc.” They always reach the same conclusion among themselves, “Let him leave alone, because he’s been lost – he doesn’t belong to us or even to his own country.”  Thus, I had no choice; I became a wonderer who plays on muted strings with lonely tune and started talking to myself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s