I have been a stranger to my own country and my own country’s people since I was a child. I should confess that I hate Japan from my guts. On top of it all, I have never fitted into Japanese society and have not yet even started to function as a useful person there. To tell the truth, I have never agreed with the Japanese society system and the Japanese way of life. I always wanted to escape from Japan to see the world so that I could be free as a bird. From my childhood on, one thing was crystal clear to me as if it were God’s revelation: I definitely do not belong in Japan, and I just happened to be born in the wrong country. I am absolutely a lone wolf and constantly suffocated by loneliness, because I have no one to talk with about my true feelings and even a fraction of my feelings.
I had never had friends in my life until I decided to say good-bye to my own country to see the world. I am talking about real friends you can trust with all your heart, talk to about anything freely with a heart’s content, and can always count on when you desperately need some help. In all my life, I always believe that having real friends is the most wonderful gift that life can offer all of us. Unfortunately, I could not find any single friend, and it was even impossible for me to be able to meet a single individual in whom I am interested in Japan.